First of all - Happy (late) National Coming Out Day!
If you associate this with good experiences, I hope you celebrated.
If you do not associate this day with good experiences, I hope you're doing alright and know that RESCQU NET is here for you. This is a tumultuous holiday full of joy for some, and life-changing horror for others, so stay safe, and only come out where you can, and when you can.
Regardless, today is the last day of LGBT+ history month and I'd like to start by revising the pat of LGBT+ rights moving forward into the future, and refute a common but damaging argument we use.
I am going to be talking about the Queen, the myth, the legend: Lady Gaga. And I'm just gonna say before I get into this, that I adore her and love what she has done to strengthen the LGBTQ+ community.
However...
, with the good comes the bad.
On May 23rd (my birthday!), 2011 Lady Gaga graced our eardrums with “Born This Way” (click for lyrics and listening). Her song spurred a movement in the LGBTQ+ community that has stuck. It's still very present in popular culture at virtually every PRIDE festival. The movement is based in the chorus:
If you associate this with good experiences, I hope you celebrated.
If you do not associate this day with good experiences, I hope you're doing alright and know that RESCQU NET is here for you. This is a tumultuous holiday full of joy for some, and life-changing horror for others, so stay safe, and only come out where you can, and when you can.
Regardless, today is the last day of LGBT+ history month and I'd like to start by revising the pat of LGBT+ rights moving forward into the future, and refute a common but damaging argument we use.
I am going to be talking about the Queen, the myth, the legend: Lady Gaga. And I'm just gonna say before I get into this, that I adore her and love what she has done to strengthen the LGBTQ+ community.
However...
, with the good comes the bad.
On May 23rd (my birthday!), 2011 Lady Gaga graced our eardrums with “Born This Way” (click for lyrics and listening). Her song spurred a movement in the LGBTQ+ community that has stuck. It's still very present in popular culture at virtually every PRIDE festival. The movement is based in the chorus:
I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way
Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way
And this chorus is EMPOWERING. If my “lifestyle” isn’t a choice, nobody can be expected to change me.
This singular sentiment revokes the power of hundreds of arguments for homophobes and transphobes.
But, it's also disenfranchising.
This singular sentiment revokes the power of hundreds of arguments for homophobes and transphobes.
But, it's also disenfranchising.
This premise creates a problem...
Is my identity only valid if I cannot change it?
If it were a choice, would I choose to be straight?
My answer is HECK NO.
I love being bisexual and I would choose it a thousand times over. That is what the “Born This Way” movement is failing to recognize. It shouldn’t matter why we are the way we are. People should show other people basic respect.
But the song promotes the idea that gender and sexuality are stagnant traits we gain upon birth, and that do not change over time throughout our lives.
If it were a choice, would I choose to be straight?
My answer is HECK NO.
I love being bisexual and I would choose it a thousand times over. That is what the “Born This Way” movement is failing to recognize. It shouldn’t matter why we are the way we are. People should show other people basic respect.
But the song promotes the idea that gender and sexuality are stagnant traits we gain upon birth, and that do not change over time throughout our lives.
So there's this Scale. It was made by this guy named Alfred Kinsey that tracks the sexuality of people from childhood to late adulthood. Their sexual orientations, gender, sexual interests, kinks. You name it, this guy tried to track it. And it's old and often inaccurate, but it illustrates a VITAL POINT:
Many of us slide around on the Kinsey Scale at least a little bit throughout our lives.
We grow as people emotionally and physically, so it only makes sense that we grow sexually, romantically, and in terms of our gender. As a child you probably didn't have a lot of hard-pulling fascinations with physical sex but had a school-yard crush or two. So if you were "born this way" it invalidates a large swatch of the experiences you, and indeed virtually everyone has had in their lives.
I don’t think I was born bisexual.
I was born a baby and, as I grew into an adult, I grew into bisexuality. What does the “Born This Way” movement say about the pansexual and genderfluid people in the LGBTQ community? The questioning people? The married elderly who discover their attractions have waned for their partners, or increased for same-gender relationshiops?
So, while Lady Gaga is amazing and a goddess, I think that even she gets it wrong sometimes.
If you fall into any of the identities that are cast aside by the “Born This Way” argument, or you happen to be in the shadows during this rainbow month, I invite you to check out RESCQU NET and perhaps join me and/or my friends for a support group session.
Our most recent group, Bitter / Sweet is specifically for Bi/Pan people to share their experiences cast under the radar and into the shadows by their identity. Consider Joining. I know I am.
Many of us slide around on the Kinsey Scale at least a little bit throughout our lives.
We grow as people emotionally and physically, so it only makes sense that we grow sexually, romantically, and in terms of our gender. As a child you probably didn't have a lot of hard-pulling fascinations with physical sex but had a school-yard crush or two. So if you were "born this way" it invalidates a large swatch of the experiences you, and indeed virtually everyone has had in their lives.
I don’t think I was born bisexual.
I was born a baby and, as I grew into an adult, I grew into bisexuality. What does the “Born This Way” movement say about the pansexual and genderfluid people in the LGBTQ community? The questioning people? The married elderly who discover their attractions have waned for their partners, or increased for same-gender relationshiops?
So, while Lady Gaga is amazing and a goddess, I think that even she gets it wrong sometimes.
If you fall into any of the identities that are cast aside by the “Born This Way” argument, or you happen to be in the shadows during this rainbow month, I invite you to check out RESCQU NET and perhaps join me and/or my friends for a support group session.
Our most recent group, Bitter / Sweet is specifically for Bi/Pan people to share their experiences cast under the radar and into the shadows by their identity. Consider Joining. I know I am.
About Erin Tschudi
Erin is the volunteer with the largest tenure here at RESCQU.NET because it allows her to keep connected with the LGBT+ community. As a bi woman who is soon to be getting married to her future husband she feels deeply for the community and wants to keep that connection. So she works to train our volunteers, welcome our new community members, and keep the wheels turning.
RSS Feed
