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How to Find The Queer Resource You Need Now in 10 Seconds

12/18/2018

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​A few weeks ago I, Ricki Palmisano, introduced myself here as the LGBT+ resources coordinator and outlined my number one goal: 
Making RESCQU.NET's LGBT+ Resource Database easier
​for LGBT+ people who need valuable resources fast, to navigate.
​
But before I can show you how to do that, you gotta know how to use the database in the first place! 

So we created a super handy video for you to learn how to use the database, and this blog will outline step-by-step how to find the resources you need!  
How to use our resources database: A how-to video on finding the right resources for you.
Now, using the database starts with this deceptively simple top navigation bar.  With this top-bar you can search the entire database using any keyword you want, filter the results based on your needs, and sort them based on any piece of information you want.

NOTE: ​If you're on mobile this bar doesn't show. We're still working on a way to make this searchable,  but if you put your phone in landscape mode it may show depending on the size of your device.
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Part 1: The Easy Part - Searching

Of all the parts of the database this one is the easiest to use, but knowing how it searches can help you use it quicker.  

To access this feature, on a computer, either press Control and F (Ctrl+F) while your Curser is focused on the database, or select the magnifier glass in the top-right-hand corner of the database.  Then type in your query. 

The search feature uses Boolean Operators like AND, OR, NOT, and *'s to improve your search results.  

AND lets you search two terms. "Surgery AND Transition" will return all results that each would alone. NOT does the opposite and returns all surgery results that do not mention Transition.  *s such as in Trans* return all words starting with trans such as transgender, transsexual, transgression, translucent - etc.
Picture: learn more about Boolean operators (link: http://pgcc.libguides.com/c.php?g=60038&p=385676)
Learn more about Boolean Operators

Part 2: What to Do When You Don't Know What You Need

This section is alternatively called *drum roll* "The Relevance System"
One of the biggest issues our community of questioning, closeted, and stealth people have is that your problems tend to be complicated corner-cases and exceptions that leave you feeling hopeless.  

Your issues are complex, involve a ton of catch-22s, and when you're in the thick of it, things can feel like you don't know where to start. 

​You may need to know how to change your name in a specific state, but that state won't accept your federal identity information.  Finding a therapist that is trans* friendly is a gargantuan task, and there aren't a lot of resources if you're a lesbian going home to your conservative family for the holidays.  

So, we've created the "relevant tag" system. 

This is a list of different tags that we've asked our organizations to state they have a "specialty" in solving. 

First, Use the "filter" feature [1] and sort by the "relevant to...[keywords[" column [2], to pull up a list of those tags.  Then simply turn on the tags relevant to your issue [3] and the database narrows down all of our resources to the export organizations that will help solve your problem! 
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For a full "list" of the available keywords we use to sort, or what they mean, consult this index, but we'll also provide a text list in a future blog:
The biggest advantage to this system is the "emergency" tag.  This tag allows you to find all organizations that deal with getting you help NOW.  Add Emergency plus the relevant tag to find access to resources that can help you in a pinch.  

So what do you do when you have the resource up and in your hand?  

Part 3: What to Do with the Resource When You Have it

Once you've found the resource you need, clicking on it [1] will populate a more advanced "card" of data that includes all of the relevant tags that organization has claimed expertise in, [2], a description of the organization, and most importantly...

One closet-friendly person you can contact either via phone or email to help you find the best person in that organization to handle your issue, anonymously, quickly, and quietly [3].
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In this case, we're looking at the emergency sexual assault organization and educational organization RAINN.  At RAINN, we've found Jodi Omear, who is a high ranking member of the organization.

You can use a private and separate email account to message her directly, or call the RAINN hotline (800-656-HOPE [4673]) about potential sexual assault issues, legal paths to getting out of the situation, and what to do if you're in a domestic violence situation right this moment.  
My job is to make these cards easier for you to use, but a simple 3 step, 10-second process can get you the resources you need right now and with every partner organization we add to the database, we hope you'll find this database the most useful it can be. 

If you know an organization that isn't on the list feel free to shoot them a link to ourPartner page here, and keep a look out for our next database indestructible: how to use the relevant to features! 

About the Author: Ricki Palmisano

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Ricki is our lead Database Coordinator for RESCQU.NET. Working with a team of other volunteers, she vets and establishes partnerships with organizations to ensure closet-friendly resources are in the database, updated, and have a singular contact who can field your needs at that organization. In her off-time she loves tea, studies copyright law, pets, and being an absolutely amazing friend.
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Meet our new Resource Coordinator: Ricki Palmisano!

11/29/2018

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When I first worked on RESCQU.NET’s resources database as a temporary volunteer, I had no idea what I was in for. 

There we were, in the Lair of Abraxas, for an event to build a database of over 150 LGBTQ+ resources, and I was looking over several weeks worth of work, matching organizations with their contact information.  There was a long way to go, but I approached it as a logic game.

The night was full of tea and friends, and I even got a T-shirt at the end! Weeks of work beforehand started to come to fruition. At the end of the night our leader, Samantha, approached me. She complimented me on my work in the database over the prior few weeks and asked me how I felt about it. 

And then she asked me if I'd like to join the team, curating this database permanently—the rest is history. 

I’m Ricki Palmisano, and this is the resource database. 

A main feature of the database is the ‘vetting’ process. We will call and email each organization to make sure we have the best anonymous contact for closeted and out folks alike. Automation is something we can look forward to, but for now, I’m working out the kinks, and enjoying the one-on-one time I get to have with some of our founding partner organizations.

So What's on the Database?

Picture: Contact Northern Colorado Eclectic if you're local to Colorado. Link:https://nocoequality.org/ Contact Northern Colorado Eclectic if you're local to Colorado.
Two organizations immediately jumped on board the database project with me.

Northern Colorado Eclectic:

Eclectic was kind enough to share their resources with us from day one and largely contributed to the volume of resources our database has now. Eclectic is a local group that organizes events, support groups, and programs in the northern Colorado area to support and educate people in and around the LGBTQ+ community.  Eclectic also doubles as an advocacy group associated with CO state representative Dr. Joann Ginal, who focuses on health care and public issues for the LGBTQ+ and intersectional communities. Check them out on our database!
Picture: Beyond the Mirror is an awesome resource. Check it out if you are in Fort Collins. https://www.holistichealingandtherapycenter.com/Beyond the Mirror is an awesome resource. Check it out if you are in Fort Collins.
Beyond the Mirror:

Is an identity counseling service flew through the vetting process and I’m proud to have them on our list! They are useful for folks questioning, still in the closet, or at any point in their journey. They provide services specialized for teens and those with eating disorders. Look up their name or ‘counseling’ on our database to find their anonymous contact or your own local equivalent LGBT+ counseling services.

Take a look at our database to find these resources and more. Type in the organization’s name into the search bar on the upper right-hand corner of the database window.

What’s Next for the Database?

Now I have a new task in front of me: How do we make this database easy to navigate? 

Together, Samantha and I came up with a solution: a way to tag each organization with searchable keywords that you would use to find that resource. That way people could easily find the resources most useful to them at the time they need it. 

Over time, spearheading the database has become a bit more organized.  I brought a friend of mine with me to volunteer and now I have a partner in crime.  Together our goal is to make the database as full and accessible as possible. 

If you have any questions on how to use the database or have a suggestion of your own, you can email me anonymously at Ricki.Palmisano@rescqu.net! (I’m closet-friendly, too)

About the Author: Ricki P.

Ricki is the Database coordinator for RESCQU.NET. She vets and establishes partnerships with organizations to ensure closet-friendly resources are in the database.
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Why Knowing How to Find Resources is More Vital Than Ever

11/20/2018

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Picture: 4 in 10 lgbt youth (42%) say that community in which they live is not accepting of LGBT people ~human rights watch (https://www.hrc.org/youth-report/view-and-share-statistics)
Credible resources are important. This is always the case. Believe me, I’m an English teacher. 

Unfortunately, credible resources are not exactly simple. 

Some topics have a wealth of resources which create a variety of conflicting opinions you have to tease through. Other issues have a small pool of resources to pick from causing you to lose out on valuable, silenced perspectives. 

Especially where the LGBT+ minority is concerned. 

So why does this matter?

When it comes to your identity, having a variety of resources, opinions, and people to learn from is vital, but can give you more misinformation. And on the other hand, you cannot, or at least should not, tailor yourself to fit a smaller pool of resources that could be incorrect.

So in this blog, we’re going to teach you how to identify credible information, and deal with the regrettably low amount of information out there for LGBTQ+ people.
Now, there are three types of resources for information.
1. Primary sources are fist-hand accounts of individual stories. are necessary because they are the easiest to empathize with. 

They’re people telling you stories about who they are. They can come from friends, family, or even some random blogger, but their stories are raw and authentic to themselves. 

2. Secondary sources like articles, reviews, and academic papers, break down the stories, identify trends among similar stories, and provide validation to a single person’s or group’s experience.

3. Tertiary resources like Wikipedia pages, textbooks and encyclopedias zoom out and compile all of the first-person data, and reviews to present it in a bigger format.  Conflicting stories can be put together to establish the pros and cons.  They can more reliably illustrate the complexity of situations. They make it easier to access and to trust.

How this works in LGBTQ+ Communities

The problem that LGBTQ+ folks face is a blatant lack of resources about identity.

There are medical, social, and legal questions, among others that people can’t find answers to in a simple google search. There isn’t really a good way to “google” a feeling.

Attempting to do so can also be dangerous.  Our blog on safe internet browsing practices explains how dangerous it can be to find high-quality resources if you are stealth/closeted and share a computer with not-so-friendly people.

While this problem affects everyone, LGBTQ+ youth are at an extreme disadvantage. So let’s talk about resources in the context of youth.

Example: ​Youth Access to LGBTQ+ Resources 

They are out in the world, discovering themselves for the first time, and want help but they're not getting it. 

The map below lists all of the states with “no promo homo” laws. While the name sounds hilarious, the intentions are more nefarious.

These “no promo homo” laws silence students and teachers from talking about LGBTQ+ issues.   
Picture: Anti-LGBT: States that have laws restricting teachers and staff from talking about LGBT issues at school: Caption: Sources: Human Rights Watch | Lambda Legal
Sources: Human Rights Watch | Lambda Legal
​They prevent critical information from being taught to LGBTQ youth. 

And sadly, This only records policy.  Not Culture.  This information is not being taught in tons of grey states either. 

These laws directly impact students’ health and well-being. The red states showed actively suppress LGBTQ sex education.  If you, a student or a parent of an LGBT+ student, find yourself in want or need of better sex education, you’ll have to find better resources. 
As an immediate resource, might we suggest the Queer Sex Ed podcast?!"
​Without proper curriculum in place for youth to learn about different identities that may apply to them, we end up in one of several places. The darkest of these places is self-harm and suicide.  

Take these resources which offer rare but insightful data on how a lack of resources affect youth:
​“The prevalence of having attempted suicide was higher among gay, lesbian, and bisexual students (29.4%) than heterosexual students (6.4%) and not sure students (13.7%) and higher among not sure students (13.7%) than heterosexual students (6.4%)." ~ CDC.GOV [link] 
“30 percent of transgender youth report a history of at least one suicide attempt, and nearly 42 percent report a history of self-injury, such as cutting."
~cincinattichildrens.org [link] 

Why finding Quality Resources is VITAL

​Despite these studies being crucial resources necessary for schools to provide to suicidal youth, they were, unfortunately, tricky to find.

And it’s not going to get any easier.

The Census Bureau, our nation’s primary source for data, announced in March of 2017, that it would not include LGBTQ questions on the 2020 census.

After reading the Planned 2020 census, the only whisper of sexuality I found was in the “relationship to housemates section,” So LGBTQ+ people would have to be married to and/or living with a same-sex partner to count as LGBTQ if they even report their marriage, to begin with. There is no mention of gender identity. 

This may be looking pretty grim for you if you are an LGBTQ-identified person searching for resources.  But we at RESCQU NET are working on it. 


Check out our impressive LGBTQ resource database which has vetted primary and secondary sources for your needs. And if you’d need some 1-on-1 support finding resources, check out our online support groups!

About the Author: Erin Tschudi

Erin is the volunteer with the largest tenure here at RESCQU.NET because it allows her to keep connected with the LGBT+ community.  As a bi woman who is soon to be getting married to her future husband she feels deeply for the community and wants to keep that connection.  So she works to train our volunteers, welcome our new community members, and keep the wheels turning.
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Why and How to support LGBT+ military and veterans  | A Resource Packet for Veterans, and a How-to for everyone else

11/12/2018

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PictureVeteran's Crisis Line: 1-800-273-8255. https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/Content/images/VeteransCrisisLineLogo.pngJust one of the many resources we will offer in this blog - Share this resource with LGBT+ veterans you know!
​Today is a big day.  

In observance of Veterans Day, at the launch of Transgender Awareness Week, and coming to you one week before Transgender Day of Remembrance, I want to observe the gravity of the month of November for the LGBT+ community in this blog.

Today, as we show gratitude and appreciation for those who have fought bravely for our liberties and freedoms, we must also remember that many service members do not have adequate access to the support they need and deserve; both LGBT+ and cis-straight veterans.

In this blog, I will bring up several of the hurdles and pitfalls that keep these veterans and soldiers silent, in the closet, or stealth throughout their service, and afterward. 

And for those of you in this situation, we’d like to provide some resources to give you that support and make sure you’re heard.

The Military’s Culture of Prejudice

PictureTAVA: Transgender Veterans Association: http://transveteran.org/for-veterans/trans-support-locator/A second resource for Transgender Veterans struggling with legal, healthcare, or other issues.
Up until the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DA;DT) in the U.S. military, there was minimal information on the specific concerns that LGBT+ service members faced. 

In 2010, The Williams Institute of UCLA released a report on the estimated number of lesbian, gay, and bisexual men and women in the military.  

It showed that they comprised roughly 2.2% of all military personnel. 

In 2014 UCLA released a new report stating there were over 150,000 active transgender individuals in the armed forces.

While this data shed some light on the existence of LGBT+ military personnel, it obviously could not account for closeted individuals. Despite having the opportunity to serve openly, many military personnel did not, and still do not feel safe to come out within today’s military culture. 
When I was in the Navy, I couldn't be honest about my life.  My Girlfriend, Victoria, had to be called Victor because I risked expulsion from service.  I felt shame and fear. When DA;DT was repealed it was life-changing.  People cried just to be able to hold the one they loved.  But now, with Trump, that fear is back, and it's not just keeping people in the closet. It's threatening the lives of everyone who came out then. 

This fear is legitimate and has removed thousands from service.  Love MUST win.
~Navy Veteran
The rates of discrimination towards minority communities within the armed forces are still higher than the general population. That is especially true for transgender and gender non-conforming folxs. These disproportionate rates of discrimination can be a factor in closeted individuals choosing not to come out or not feeling comfortable serving at all.

Access to medical and mental health care are also still lacking for LGBT+ service members. 
While policy changes have occurred in the last decade to allow for more medical protections, many same-sex spouses and transgender veterans face difficult hurdles when seeking treatment. 

The Department of Veterans Affairs states that it has improved policies to make access easier and more secure for transgender veterans, but an overwhelming number face limitations when it comes to transition-related surgical care, applications being denied and repealed upwards of 3 times, and medical practitioners either don’t know the rules, or avidly ignore them in practice. ​

Veteran Discrimination After Serving

PictureOut Serve SLDN: https://www.outserve-sldn.org/legal/OutServe is a legal organization that caters to LGBT+ veterans struggling with DA;DT
​Older LGBT+ veterans face further difficulties when it comes to their discharge status. 

Since 1993, more than 13,000 individuals were discharged due to Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. 
.
Individuals discharged for homosexuality were discharged with a "less than honorably" status that can be difficult to dispute. 

A less than honorable discharge effectively bars these individuals from receiving veterans benefits, cost them government positions, and comes with a burden of shame. 

Discharge statuses can be now can reviewed and changed to honorable for DA;DT reasons, but that process is untimely and demands a fair bit of paperwork. So many LGBT+ veterans have lived with their lower statuses for so long that their lives have been significantly set back by it and no correction will be enough to recover that lost time, effort, social position, and money.

So what can Veteran’s and Allies Do? ​

Veteran's Legal Institute: https://www.vetslegal.com/The Veterans legal institute is the first place to start if you have trouble with medical issues and policies, finding work, or discrimination issues
​Organizations are working to support LGBT+ veterans in various areas, such as AVER (American Veterans for Equal Rights), but what is needed most is broad wide-sweeping changes to the cultural approaches the military takes to protect, advocate for, and empower military personnel - both during and after serving.  

The best thing an ally can do, however, is to listen and then respond with support by boosting the stories of LGBT+ veterans issues.  Donate to media organizations like GLAAD, the Personal Stories Project, and other organizations that seek to signal boost veterans, and contribute to the financial health of the organizations we recommend below:

If You're a Veteran, we encourage you to use these Resources

You can find these resources and hundreds of others on our Resources page, It's visually easy to understand, organized, and searchable.  Simply filter and sort the database by your stage in your journey, the issues you are facing, and/or your identity! Try it out here!

  1. In emergencies: 
    1. Veterans crisis Network
      1. https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/

        The Veterans Crisis Line connects Veterans in crisis and their families and friends with qualified, caring Department of Veterans Affairs responders through a confidential toll-free hotline, online chat, or text. Veterans and their loved ones can call 1-800-273-8255 and Press 1, chat online, or send a text message to 838255 to receive confidential support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Support for deaf and hard of hearing individuals is available. 
  2. For legal issues: 
    1. OUT SERVE - SLDN
      1. https://www.outserve-sldn.org/page/legal?
        ​
        OutServe-SLDN provides free legal counseling to service members with legal issues stemming from discrimination based on one's perceived or actual sexual orientation or gender presentation, the regulations governing military service by HIV+ people, the rules addressing military service by transgender persons, and offers assistance to veterans seeking to upgrade or correct their discharge paperwork.
    2. ALCU - 
      1. https://www.aclu.org/

        For almost 100 years, the ACLU has worked to defend and preserve the individual rights and liberties guaranteed by the Constitution and laws of the United States.
    3. Veterans Legal Institute
      1. https://www.vetslegal.com/

        Veterans Legal Institute® (VLI) provides pro bono legal assistance to homeless, at risk, disabled and low-income current and former service members to eradicate barriers to housing, healthcare, education, and employment and foster self-sufficiency.

  3. For post-military civilian assistance
    1. Hire Heroes USA
      1. https://www.hireheroesusa.org/

        Hire Heroes USA empowers U.S. military members, veterans and military spouses to succeed in the civilian workforce.

  4. For Transgender Veteran Care and Advocacy
    1. Transgender American Veterans Association
      1. http://transveteran.org/for-veterans/trans-support-locator/

        We work non-stop finding relevant information across the web on transgender issues and bring it to you every day. Here are just a few of our latest Facebook posts. Enjoy!

Lane Lunsford

Lane is the Facilitator of the newly formed Bisexual / Pansexual group Bitter / Sweet.  She's spent most of her life counseling troubled youth and the LGBT+ community.  She's recently married her husband and experiences the same Bi-erasure she is supporting you with now.  Join her group! ​
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Let's Discuss Cookies!

11/6/2018

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Sorry for the click-bait.  It's not the food kind.  But, this is important so keep reading! 

​You’ve probably heard the term “cookie” thrown around while browsing the Internet. Recently, there’s been a big change to these “cookies.”  And that change is vital to your net-safety. 

When you go to a website, a new European Law called GDPR now requires companies to inform you that it uses these "cookies"to track some of the things you do on their site (and afterward).

So we’re going to briefly discuss in this blog, what a cookie is when they can infringe on your privacy and then we’ll show you how to avoid the dangerous ones.  
Since the new Law passed you've probably been seeing several popups on different sites: https://www.cookiebot.com/en/gdpr-cookies/
Since the new law passed you've probably been seeing warning like these on several sites.

Let’s start with the basics - What are Cookies?

​ The term originated as a “computer nerd” expression describing a set of data that is sent from a site’s server to your computer, and that comes back unchanged, called a “magic cookie.”

Technically speaking, the cookies saved to your web browser create a dictionary of all kinds of information related to you; what you’ve browsed and information that helps web pages give you a better experience on their sites. Websites use cookies for all kinds of things, and not all of them are bad.  Indeed marketers use them to make website advertising a kinder place for you.

But, you can think of cookies as a collection of membership cards.

When you navigate to a site, it provides you a cookie that says “I’ve been here and am interested in these things.”  The sites then request them back from your browser to verify who you are, what you’re on the site for and then they custom-tailor their information for you based on the cookies you have.
A beautiful infographic from Vertical Measures describes this more in-depth: https://www.verticalmeasures.com/blog/digital-marketing/cookies-a-guide-to-understanding-data-driven-morsels/
For those who want to know more, here's a beautiful Infographic from vertical measures!
​For example...
When you log in to your bank’s website, the site will “start a session” for you and that session is tracked with a cookie. This cookie cannot be accessed by other websites, but when you log into your bank again, there's no need to provide a password because the cookie already "verified" you.  This cookie is helpful.

But when you browse a shopping website and click on an item, many shopping websites will track that item in a “recently viewed” area of the shopping site by giving you a cookie that tracks what items you’ve viewed. This one could be used to out you.

After leaving that shopping site, you may also notice that same item shows up in an advertisement on another website because it requested your “Amazon Products” cookie. That’s where things start to feel a little unsettling for most people.

Is there an easy way to 'see' the cookie?

Frankly speaking, No. There's not really an easy way.

But there are two ways if you're willing to do it. (If not, skip to what you can do to prevent cookies).

1. "View Page Info" 
​In Firefox, you can see if a website is using cookies by right-clicking any inactive part of a web page (for example, away from all the links and pictures) and select “View Page Info.” 

This provides a dizzying amount of information. We’ll likely discuss this view in a later 201 blog, but at least some of it will probably make sense to you. 

If you look under the “Security” tab, you’ll find things like the website identity, how many times your browser thinks you’ve visited the site, and whether it uses cookies or not. 

At this point, you can clear the cookies just for the site you’re on if you want. This is a "reasonably" simple way to see if cookies are in use on the site you’re looking at, but it's really not ley-person friendly.

2. The Storage Inspector
You can also see all of the cookies your browser has recorded in Firefox using SHIFT-F9 to bring up the “Storage Inspector.” From there, you’ll see a menu on the left for different ways the site can store information. One of those is “Cookies.” If you expand and highlight the site you’re interested in, the grid will then contain all the cookies that are currently active for the site.

What you're probably going to be most interested in are the “Name” and “Value” fields.

Clicking on a cookie record will bring up the details, but to get a good look at a cookie, you have to expand the “Data” window on the right side of the SHIFT-F9 window.
For Example:  Using the Wikipedia Cookie Page
Just to give you a little taste of what you might find, I tried the Wikipedia cookie page. And, guess what? 

It saved the location I’m browsing the page from in a cookie called “GeoIP.”

Why does Wikipedia need to know where I am to provide the information I requested??? 

See how this works? Imagine if you’ve been doing personal research at the library, and you log in to a site you’re using. That site may put your location data in a cookie. Some cookies stick around – so later another website you visit can capture that cookie. So, now, two websites can figure out that you’ve visited this other site from the library.

Yikes! What do I do?

1 - Clear Your Cookies!
Make it a regular practice to clear your cookies before you move onto or away from sites you don’t want people to know you’re on. 

This does delete helpful cookies like session logins but we feel it’s worth the inconvenience.

2 - Use Private Browsing Modes
Another approach is to use the incognito mode available in most browsers when doing personal research on LGBTQ+ related things.  Be sure to start a new incognito session every time you want to go to a new page (easier said than done). 

To do this, you can copy the link you want to go to next by right-clicking on the link and selecting something like “Copy Link Address.” After you’ve copied the link, you can close your incognito session and start a new one.  Then copy that link in the new incognito session. 

This prevents the sites from talking to each other through your browser.

Yeah, but how???

Picture
Here’s more information on how to view and delete cookies on the top used browsers:
  1. How do I see and control cookies in my web browser?
  2. More on the Firefox Storage Inspector.
  3. Get to know how different cookies work using this awesome Infographic!

The “View Page Info” feature in Firefox is relatively unique to that browser and can really help you just get to know some of the basic things that are going on when you browse websites – knowledge is power :)

"Why are these invasive cookies a thing in the first place?!?"

Why the internet is built to out you

About the Author: Jerry P


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The Problem With the "Born This Way" Argument

11/1/2018

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First of all - Happy (late) National Coming Out Day!  

​If you associate this with good experiences, I hope you celebrated.

If you do not associate this day with good experiences, I hope you're doing alright and know that RESCQU NET is here for you.  This is a tumultuous holiday full of joy for some, and life-changing horror for others, so stay safe, and only come out where you can, and when you can.  

Regardless, today is the last day of LGBT+ history month and I'd like to start by revising the pat of LGBT+ rights moving forward into the future, and refute a common but damaging argument we use.

I am going to be talking about the Queen, the myth, the legend: Lady Gaga. And I'm just gonna say before I get into this, that I adore her and love what she has done to strengthen the LGBTQ+ community.

However...

, with the good comes the bad.

On May 23rd (my birthday!), 2011 Lady Gaga graced our eardrums with “Born This Way” (click for lyrics and listening). Her song spurred a movement in the LGBTQ+ community that has stuck. It's still very present in popular culture at virtually every PRIDE festival. The movement is based in the chorus:
I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way
Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way
And this chorus is EMPOWERING.  If my “lifestyle” isn’t a choice, nobody can be expected to change me.

This singular sentiment revokes the power of hundreds of arguments for homophobes and transphobes.

But,  it's also disenfranchising.

This premise creates a problem...

Is my identity only valid if I cannot change it?

If it were a choice, would I choose to be straight?

My answer is HECK NO.

I love being bisexual and I would choose it a thousand times over. That is what the “Born This Way” movement is failing to recognize. It shouldn’t matter why we are the way we are. People should show other people basic respect.

But the song promotes the idea that gender and sexuality are stagnant traits we gain upon birth, and that do not change over time throughout our lives.  
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So there's this Scale.  It was made by this guy named Alfred Kinsey that tracks the sexuality of people from childhood to late adulthood.  Their sexual orientations, gender, sexual interests, kinks.  You name it, this guy tried to track it.  And it's old and often inaccurate, but it illustrates a VITAL POINT: 

Many of us slide around on the Kinsey Scale at least a little bit throughout our lives.

We grow as people emotionally and physically, so it only makes sense that we grow sexually, romantically, and in terms of our gender. As a child you probably didn't have a lot of hard-pulling fascinations with physical sex but had a school-yard crush or two.  So if you were "born this way" it invalidates a large swatch of the experiences you, and indeed virtually everyone has had in their lives. 

I don’t think I was born bisexual.

I was born a baby and, as I grew into an adult, I grew into bisexuality. What does the “Born This Way” movement say about the pansexual and genderfluid people in the LGBTQ community? The questioning people?  The married elderly who discover their attractions have waned for their partners, or increased for same-gender relationshiops?  

So, while Lady Gaga is amazing and a goddess, I think that even she gets it wrong sometimes.

If you fall into any of the identities that are cast aside by the “Born This Way” argument, or you happen to be in the shadows during this rainbow month, I invite you to check out RESCQU NET and perhaps join me and/or my friends for a support group session. 

Our most recent group, Bitter / Sweet is specifically for Bi/Pan people to share their experiences cast under the radar and into the shadows by their identity.  Consider Joining.  I know I am.

About Erin Tschudi

​Erin is the volunteer with the largest tenure here at RESCQU.NET because it allows her to keep connected with the LGBT+ community.  As a bi woman who is soon to be getting married to her future husband she feels deeply for the community and wants to keep that connection.  So she works to train our volunteers, welcome our new community members, and keep the wheels turning.
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Why Halloween is Just the Best for Invisible LGBTQ+ People

10/30/2018

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Ghosts and Goblins and Ghouls and Gender Bending Gays all around! 

Tomorrow kids will be knocking on your door, and most of the adults will be out to their own parties, dressed in a variety of different costumes from the sexy nurse, to Lumber-Jack Skellington (I'm disappointed the internet doesn't have a picture for that one).​
Halloween is upon us and conveniently, today is also the last day of LGBT+ history month, so in this blog, we'd like to take the time to reflect on the history of Halloween in the LGBT+ community and why this holiday's continued keeping is so important!
​
First, it should be noted:
​Halloween started out as a religious holiday and make no bones about it, it's still sacred for many.  Samhain (pronounced Sowwin) was the ancient Celtic religious holiday Halloween is currently known for.  Before it's "transition" and absorption within Christian and eventually corporate-culture, it was joined with a variety of other holidays around the fall by mostly northern-European people. 

The Italian people still celebrate Borgo a Mozzano throughout the month of October which looks more like Halloween than Samhain did and is the very likely "usurper."

This religious origin to Halloween does need to be respected, as do those who consider tomorrow night holy.  But this holiday is nothing like its previous form.  It's now considered "#GayChristmas."
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A post shared by Thair (@forboyslikeme) on Oct 30, 2018 at 7:01am PDT

Halloween's Drag History

It should come as no surprise that a holiday about dressing up resulted in a few "drag" parties.  Cross-dressing is an irreverent, but accepted act on this most sacred of days for the LGBT+ community. 

In the 1950s-70s when being gay was outlawed, this allowed a kind of "acceptance" to bloom in gay bars and counter-cultural gathering places for the evening.  

Starting on the major coasts of the United States, many venues featured dress-up parties for the adults. For the closeted, invisible, gay clubs throughout the cities of San-Francisco, the out-and-proud, bold-and-beautiful drag scene which was often viewed as "a vaudeville stage show" got to shine proudly. 

This provided people a space.  A space to "negotiate" with the world around them and have a day where they could play with their genders and sexuality and have no recourse.  

This grew only more important in the 80's as the AIDS epidemic swept through.  

Halloween shifted at that time, from a holiday to play with your identity without stress, to a mardi-gras of sorts.  A day to cut loose, to be free, and to experience one's LGBT+ identity but also a day to remember the people who had been lost.  The people "who aren't at this party."

From that point forward, Halloween became synonymous with permission to be unabashedly gay.  Permission to be trans.  Permission to break the hard-and-fast societal rule loud and clear.  

Halloween's Global Popularization

Parties, Gay or straight, are fun.  Really fun.  And they look fun.  So they caught on. 

Moving into the late 80's and early 90s, American cultural festivities swept the nation and ran across seas.  According to CNN,  the British grocery store chain, Tesco's sales of pumpkins in 2005, was tripled by 2010, almost entirely because of British people picking up what was mostly a forgotten holiday until families saw Hocus Pocus and Nightmare Before Christmas.  

Popular culture - originally gay culture - created a holiday that adults could give their children.  It was fun, and most of all - it was consumable. It could sell. Now the holiday is celebrated worldwide in Japan, the UK, the middle east, Africa, everywhere.  

LGBTQ+ people the world over now "reap" the same benefits San Francisco did - identity negotiation.

What Halloween Means for Minorities

On any ordinary day, the idea of a man in a dress, or a gender-swapped Dean Winchester is not well regarded at the local grocery store.

Going to a party at a conservative friend's home "looking like a Dyke" is dangerous.  For teenagers, cross-dressing or using makeup is reserved for females, and assuming identities beyond that of traditional society is so frowned upon that we require organizations to provide support under the radar, half-way houses and homeless shelters when it goes wrong, and suicide-lifelines specifically for those people who do not conform. 

But on Halloween, you're most conservative of the conservative friends are okay with it all.  You can go out in public "in drag" you can go out with barely any clothes on at all, you can party and grind on anyone you want, and you have somewhat of a "pass."  It's Halloween and therefore expected that you'll assume the identity of someone they believe you're not.  

To the LGBTQ+ community, Halloween is a sacred holiday because it observes the hidden identities we want to "try on" alongside our silly costume.  We want to be the sexy ass-less chaps cowboy or the naughty nurse - we're allowed.  

​And that....is freeing.  

But if you can't participate

Participating in this idea of changing who you are to "try on" an identity is called Identity Tourism and it's not reserved for Halloween. 

You can also do it online, safely, without your parents knowing.

Come visit our peer support group, "bittersweet" tonight (10/30/18) to discuss how! 

If you don't qualify or were late to the party, no worries! 
Learn more about identity negotiation here
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Or get ready to vote on november 6th with our voting toolkit! Why you may not vote and how to! 

Author:  Samantha V. Logan

Samantha is the Executive Director of RESCQU.NET, an online Community Manager, and full-stack marketer.  She launched Trans* Youth Channel in 2013 to record her transition and help other transgender people online transition safely.  She saw a need to protect people who weren't out yet, and transitioned the organization to make the site you see today.
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Why You May Not Vote, and How You Can Change That

10/23/2018

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Hi, there!

I'm Erin, the Weekly Digest - and if you choose to volunteer - Volunteer Coordinator here at RESCQU.NET!

In lieu of a regular blog post this week, I feel like it’s important we discuss something that is happening at the beginning of next month: voting.

These days, everyone is talking about voting as "why you should vote." The language of “motivation” going around seems to assume that people don’t vote because they're lazy or they don’t care.

What about those of us who find voting extremely difficult for other reasons?
I have anxiety. Really bad anxiety. Especially in highly charged crowds.

So, the polls seem VERY scary to me.

It’s so much more than just getting off of the couch and waiting in line to me. The idea alone nauseates me and makes my muscles twitch.

There are millions of other reasons one may not be willing or able to vote from anxiety to active voter suppression.  If you’re closeted or have any reason whatsoever that you are afraid or hesitant to vote, we want you to know that that feeling is valid, but workarounds have to be found.

​But I am lucky enough to live in a state that allows me to mail in my ballot every year. Not everyone has that resource, and if they do, they're often not aware it exists.  

This blog provides you the resources needed to work around your hurdles & cast that vote!

How to vote in Every State, and Whether You Can Mail it in!

This below state voting database includes 3 pieces of information for each state: 
  1. The link to the state's voting page to receive information for and register to vote! 
  2. Can you vote by mail? 
  3. Can you vote online?
I sincerely hope that the chart above offers you some voting assistance, but if you need more, we've also embedded a very helpful channel from the VlogBrothers and DFTBA about how to vote in each state.  You'll need to go to the youtube channel to find your state.
​ 
​If you're in a state that does not allow for mail-in or online voting, you will have to report to your designated location.  While that is a significant hurdle though, we have a few more options for you as well.
Go to this channel and find your state!

Do you Work on Voting Day?

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Though I'd mentioned anxiety as a hurdle of mine, it's certainly not the only or most prominent hurdle.

​Many people work on election day and cannot take time off due to financial restraints.

​​If this applies to you, you can visit Vote411.org and enter your address to see if your employer is legally required to give you paid time off to vote on election day. Every area varies a little in their terms, so make sure that you're looking at the correct precinct that you’ll be voting in!

How to Fight Voter Suppression

Last, and the certainly scariest of the hurdles, is the blatant voter suppression tactics that are running amok all over the country.

I'm not going to expand on all of them, simply because it is a hot topic right now and there are a lot of people who are saying it better than I can right now.  For more information head over to this New York Times article that discusses themost recent tactics in the "age of Trump".  

Knowing about these tactics is vital to getting your vote cast, but if you find yourself oppressed, you find people telling you your vote doesn't matter, or you are physically barred from voting,  here's the number 1 thing you can get that will fight this: 

Know How Your State Provides Voting Information

Every state is required to inform the federal government how they plan to educate their citizens on the issues most prominently displayed during the voting process. 

Some of them are easy, like Colorado which provides a "bluebook" or voter information ballot mailed to every home and provided online.

Other states put it in harder to reach spots, but they can ALL be found on the federal registry.  
  1. Go to to this link at the state legislator's site.
  2. Scroll down to your state and check the section it's in.
  3. and it tells you where the state must have the information.
  4. then search google for "[state] [voter information source]"
  5. and it will be within the first 5 links! 

Know What's on Your Ballot, Well Before You Vote

We're also going to leave one last tool for your toolbox to make sure you can get around any hurdle you have to voting.  The internet.  

More spectifically, the internet has deemed your vote important, so they've created a wikipedia specifically for your local, state, and federal elections over at Ballotpedia.org.  

This site has literally everything you need ot know about the candidates, policies and more.  all you have to do is navigate to the local page you're interested in, hit search, and read! 

​https://ballotpedia.org/Main_Page
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About Erin Tschudi

​Erin is the volunteer with the largest tenure here at RESCQU.NET because it allows her to keep connected with the LGBT+ community.  As a bi woman who is soon to be getting married to her future husband she feels deeply for the community and wants to keep that connection.  So she works to train our volunteers, welcome our new community members, and keep the wheels turning.
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But Did They Listen?  The Impact of Nanette, One Year Later

10/16/2018

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"Where are the quiet gays supposed to go? The pressure on my people to express our identity and pride through the metaphor of party is...intense."
Over the past summer, much of the world has become widely familiar with
Hannah Gadsby’s Netflix special, Nanette.

And for good reason.  

After it’s debut in Melbourne, Australia last year, the show has been met with widespread critical acclaim and the response from most minority populations, particularly from the LGBTQ+ and #MeToo communities, showed how powerful and necessary her message was.  Even more so when it’s placed in today's political context.

Although it’s marketed as a comedy special, Gadsby’s Nanette delivers far more than laughs.
It’s equal parts heartbreaking raw emotion, intensely personal storytelling, and stunningly artful comedic and critical prose.

So today’s blog, half way into LGBT+ history month, we are reviewing the impact of Nanette and how it's opened doors for LGBT+ communities to share their most silent stories.

So the Question today is: 
What is Nanette’s impact months after the show’s finale?
Small Warning Though: If you haven’t seen this show, and you’re in an environment that allows you to do so, go watch it.  Bring tissues, and reserve an hour or so to think about it afterward.

For real, you're going to cry. It made me cry.

What is Nanette?

Hannah Gadsby performed the “comedy” special Nanette on stage throughout 2017-2018 in Australia, Europe, the United States, and Canada. ​
In all cases, audiences went in expecting a traditional stand-up comedy set and were left shaken, inspired, speechless and/or all three. ​

​In fact, Hannah set out to create Nanette as a farewell to comedy. Instead, she used the stage to tell her story the way it had never fully been told - in the most honest fashion possible. 
What she presents in Nanette is a harsh look at how comedy has long been a place that encourages humiliation towards oppressed groups of people. What Hahnah has ultimately achieved is a thought-provoking piece of art that continues to inspire marginalized communities the world over, to tell their own stories and break the silent status-quo. ​​

What is the Status-Quo?

Members of the LGBT+ community, too often feel a considerable amount of pressure from society to keep their more heart-breaking stories of discrimination and harsh realities hidden, in an effort not to disrupt heterosexual individuals’ “comfort zones”. ~ Lane Lunsford
LGBT+ people and other minorities are told that we should remain silent and ashamed so others can be eased into the problem, or allow them to ignore it entirely.

We are told, “I don’t have a problem with LGBT+ individuals, so long as you keep it to yourself.”

The U.S military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy from 1994-2011 highlights the level of unease that knowing the details of our lives creates in straight-cis-hetero people.

How Did Nanette Change That Status-Quo?

What Gadsby does in her hour-long special is what so many of us have long sought to do; Communicate our stories un-filtered and un-apologetically in a non-self-deprecating way.
Nanette tells Hannah's story In a way that does not conceal traumatic details.  She does not spare outsiders from the discomfort and fear that LGBT+ individuals face in our daily lives.

It’s an inspiring Concept; to proudly share our whole story, not just the edited version mainstream society is willing to hear.

While she specifically targets her fellow comedians and the art of comedy itself for its particularly negative impacts on minorities, her performance represents how we are all taught to bring ourselves down in order shield others from the traumas of our experiences.

We have adapted to the idea that we must suffer in order to increase our creativity, and ultimately, our worth. By sharing her story in its entirety - the good bits and the harsh realities - we see that our power resides in our voices.

Comedians have relied on self-deprecating humor for a long time now. Comedians Use bits and pieces of their personal lives as the building blocks of seemingly harmless jokes.

Gadsby takes those stories further, to point out how often audiences are laughing at parts of a comedian’s life that are deeply troubling. Those “seemingly harmless jokes” stir up memories that are not so harmless, but we as an audience are not asked to consider this further.

Gadsby reminds us over and over again that we are paying for her to make us feel something and to question our own role in her trauma. In this way, Nanette in addition to giving voice to marginalized individuals has also created conversations amongst those who have never thought about the pain they have caused to others.

​They are left questioning themselves, rather than having Gadsby resolve those questions for them.

But, did they listen?

Gadsby is not the first comedian to open up so personally about her life. There are plenty of other powerful comedians that push us to question social standards and look at our own actions. 

Nanette stands out because of how far it has reached.

Articles on the Washington post, and culture mass.  It won an Emmy. Discussions reached Forbes, a business magazine. .  

Although the hits are slowing, and criticisms suggest cis-hetero-men are broadly rejecting it, Nanette is still resonating throughout the LGBT+ community as a piece that empowers us to speak up and in this area, it is showing NO signs of stopping.

Our stories are important and our trauma is real. We are not alone in our struggles and it is crucial that we have spaces that lift us up rather than stirring up fear.

RESCQU NET also values your stories and we offer you the support to share your stories, in a closet-friendly manner. Indeed right now, as an invisible community member, you are experiencing these harsh realities and cruel prejudice already. 

We are here so that you can discuss your experiences with others and gain resources in our Support group program.  So consider attending one! 
How to keep yourself Anonymous Online
Why we started a Bi/Pan support group

Author: Lane Ramsay

Lane is the Facilitator of the newly formed Bisexual / Pansexual group Bitter / Sweet.  She's spent most of her life counseling troubled youth and the LGBT+ community.  She's recently married her husband and experiences the same Bi-erasure she is supporting you with now.  Join her group! 
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Net Safety 201:  How to Mask Your presence with ToR Browser

10/2/2018

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At RESCQU.NET we service people who could be cut off from their family, hurt, kicked out, ridiculed, or worse, if it's discovered that they're accessing LGBT+ resources.

We often have to help people who, as a result of these situations, must be so far under the radar that no 5-step Infographic to internet safety will cut it (you should still start here though).  

So to help those of you in this tough spot, we have a living blog post, How to Keep your LGBTQ+ Identity Hidden Online. that we constantly update once per month so you can learn more about keeping yourself safe.

We've added a summary of this post to it, but here, we're talking about Net Safety Class 201:
ToR browser and erasing your "net presence". 

Before we can talk about ToR Though, we need to talk about your "IP address" or how the internet knows what computer you are accessing it from.

Your Address is Like Caller ID

Picture[Infographic] IP addresses and internet structure.
The Internet is generally a very open place.

Internet Protocol Addresses or IP addresses are like envelopes for your "data" that are used to get it from its starting point (your computer) to the end destination (where the information is) and back. 

IP addresses carry necessary data that the receiving device can authenticate you with, much like a caller ID. If you seem legit, they'll reply back, or save you into their "contacts" and "call you" later.

If someone can read all the places with your IP Addresses, they can piece together who you are, and what you see on the internet.

​While the average interested person, school, or company, doesn’t typically want to go through the hassle of putting all those pieces together, there's a point where you might find someone who is that interested. 

Like say, if you're a Bisexual teen with very "strict" parents and with strict parental control services.

So How Do You "Erase" your IP Address?

There are several ways to prevent IP addresses being linked to you and your information.

​Systems or devices that don't require a user name and password to gain access to the Internet are reasonably untraceable, but this isn’t always an option.  There could be time limitations, or people will catch on because systems are too public, or web filters block certain sites at libraries.

Anonymous proxies and Virtual Private Networks (VPNs) are other ways to hide IP addressees, which we'll save for later blogs, but even then, these are difficult to set up and get access to, may cost money to use, and initial access is usually tracked.

The easiest way to mask your IP Address is using Tor browser, “The Onion Router”.

What is ToR browser?

First, a quick definition of Tor Browser and then we'll explain:

Tor is a browser that inefficiently sends and repackages your data through several relays and special encryption hubs on the internet, before arriving at it's final location.  Sending your data through several extra stops makes it difficult to link the originator of the data request (you) to the target of the request (The site's servers with the information you wanted).

Whew, that’s a mouthful – let’s break that down a bit.
  • Routing is how data is directed through the Internet.
  • Packets are the bundles of data you sent out and their routing information
    (the from and to addresses on an Envelope). 
  • Encryption is a technique that scrambles information so no one, but the sender and receiver can understand it.

So basically, instead of sending a letter straight to your aunt:
  1. You send it to someone that takes your envelope and scrambles the to and from information.
  2. They put it in a new envelope and send it to someone else who does the same thing.
  3. Several times after this is repeated the last person holds on to all of those envelopes, removes your letter, repackages it, and sends the letter in a brand new envelope to your aunt. 
  4. That new letter can't be opened without the old envelopes and the new data, but to your aunt, it looks like it came from that last person in the chain.
  5. She responds to the letter back to that last person, they shove the return letter into that old envelope and do a “return to sender
  6. Each person in the chain repeats the process until your aunt's reply gets back to you.
  7. If the letter was intercepted by a nosy third party somewhere in the middle, or even at your aunt’s house, they wouldn’t know where it came from or where it was supposed to go. 

    Side Note: There’s real mail services that do something like this, if you'd like to have some fun.    ​ ​
ToR browser's primary strength is that it’s easy to download and use, and designed precisely to mask IP addresses without extra configuration (in most cases), It's pretty good right out of the box as that's exactly what w'ere trying to achieve here.

​​Tor’s primary weakness however is that you have to download it. It has to be on your system.

​If someone else is monitoring you or your system, just having the software may raise some suspicions. Tor downloads are often completely blocked on some sites and they will not allow you access via Tor browser.

Okay Cool.  So How Do I Start Using It?

Tor is best utilized via the “Tor Browser” which is available for free from http://www.torproject.org.

Basically, you download the browser, and start using it, it’s that simple.

However, there are some caveats and limitations on what Tor can do for you. There are a list of warnings from the download page that you should definitely read and consider. 

For example;
"Tor does not protect all of your computer's Internet traffic when you run it. Tor only protects your applications that are properly configured to send their Internet traffic through Tor.
So, if you use the Tor Browser, it’s easy.  If you want to use other network services (say Skype), there's a learning curve.  Aaand you've got some work to do.
​

So, I use Tor, and Then I’m Totally Safe, Right?

No. it’s not that simple.  

What we can say is, "Tor will ensure that your IP address isn’t recorded on the other end of your internet exchange." That’s it. 

There are a few problems.

1. Sticking out like a sore thumb
It’s similar to using a fake name when you go to a hotel a lot. After a while, if you're the only one using an alias, they can tell you're the one signing your bills Mary Winchester of Lawrence, Kansas.

if you’re the only one using Tor in your physical location on your Internet Service Provider's (ISP’s) network, eventually, with enough monitoring, the person you’re trying to avoid, will figure it out and you'll just stick out like a sore thumb.

The network administrator or authorities can pinpoint traffic right back to you.   Using services outside of Tor, alongside it is like using your real credit card to pay for the hotel under your fake name.

2. The Content is Still Readable
This also doesn’t immediately prevent your local network administrator from being able to see what you’re trying to send or what you get back (which is why Tor isn’t enough!).

You still need to follow the 101 tips we offered you in prior blogs to really utilize Tor’s benefits.

3.  The origin and destinations are still the same
Those first hops out to the Tor network have to go through your local network and ISP. Tor isn’t magic!

There are ways to provide extra security to help hide from local system administrators like using Tor bridges if your network administrators or your ISP block direct access to Tor, and obfuscation; doing things to make figuring out your data and where you’re sending it mor difficult.

The Bottom Line: This is a Wrench. You Need a Tool Box.

Tor is only one tool of several you can use to protect your online identity.  Over the course of the next several months, we hope to give you more tools that you can use in concert to keep yourself safe.  

Be on the lookout for them, and join our local support groups, and weekly email digest so we can give these resources to you manually - no digital paper trail.  
Simpler ways to keep your identity hidden onlnie
Why the web is built to out you in the first place

This Article is curated by Jerri P (updated monthly)

Jerri joined RESCQU.NET to assist in attaining secure and safe technological systems.  Jerry did their masters in computer technology on computer languages and enforcing SSL documentation.  They now help us with the closet-friendly partner organization program, and inform you of the dangers of searching the internet unprotected.

Guest Author: Jeffery Kenworthy

Jeff is an avid user of Tor Browser and a "hacker in training".  He specializes in finding weak points in internet security for sites, databases, servers, and devices so software engineers can plug them.  He contributed a good deal to this article and hopes for LGBTQ+ safety to become a bigger issue in the Net Neutrality and Security debate.
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