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Good Stories are Powerful Lifelines.

Fine. We're Proud of You Zuck - Wary, but Proud

3/12/2019

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It's just a picture of Mark Zuckerberg.Zuckerberg emoting. Credit to NBC.
​We are VERY hard on facebook.  

And for good reason.  

This organization started because of the Facebook Real Names Policy in early 2013 and to this day we harp on Facebook’s refusal to protect LGBTQ+ people by providing alias names, securing data and information better, not catering to peoples’ privacy, and generally sucking at community anonymity when we ask them to.  

But something changed recently in Mark Zuckerberg’s little scrooge heart (possibly robotic?).

A week ago Zuckerberg published a near 3,200-word blog about a shift from public information social networks to private networks.  And that’s VERY good for all of you. 

In this blog, Zuckerberg admitted to the security problems with his platform and announced he will be pivoting to a security-based social platform that we feel holds a lot of promise for your safety, security, and anonymity on the web.

So in this blog, we’re going to go over his letter to let you know what may or may not be “troubling”.

A quick summary of his Blog

Now fortunately for you, there is no need to read all 3,200 hundred words of the CEO’s admission of guilt because it’s all pretty technical.  

Zuckerberg starts out by suggesting a few ideas about what the future of the internet will entail and we are VERY proud of him here.  He is championing from here on out:
  1. Private interactions between people without any “eyes” on your conversation,
  2. Encrypted Data so no “eyes” are watching the mail process in the first place,
  3. Temporary & Secure Data Storage so they’re not holding info longer than needed,
  4. Safety for everyone involved as they interact on the platform and,
  5. Platform Inter-operability that rolls these changes out to every platform they own.
As for why he has changed his views on the future of social media,
We’ve super-cut all the parts that are important to you in a way that makes sense*:
(also check the P.S for more below!)
“I believe a privacy-focused communications platform will become even more important than today's open platforms. Privacy gives people the freedom to be themselves and connect more naturally, which is why we build social networks. [...] But people should be comfortable being themselves, and should not have to worry about what they share coming back to hurt them later. ” [...] Now, with all the ways people also want to interact privately, there's also an opportunity to build a simpler platform that's focused on privacy first.

[...]  Frankly, we [Facebook] don’t currently have a strong reputation for building protective privacy services, and we've historically focused on tools for more open sharing. [...] There is also a growing concern among some that technology may be centralizing power in the hands of governments and companies like ours.

​[...] But in WhatsApp, for example, our team is obsessed with creating an intimate environment in every aspect of the product. [...] I believe we should be working towards a world where people can speak privately and live freely knowing that their information will only be seen by who they want to see it and won't all stick around forever.​"
 ~ Mark Zuckerberg; Wed. March 6th

​So can we trust him?

Picture: Read the full infographic at: http://onlineprivacydata.com/Read the full infographic at: http://onlineprivacydata.com/
​That sounds all well and good but how is he going to make the current Facebook Juggernaut of platforms (that run on modern marketing companies abusing customer metadata in surveillance marketing) into a safe privacy first, encrypted network that we feel safe using?  

Right now, according to the Online Data Privacy survey, a whopping 83% of Americans believe that too much of their personal information is being made public without their consent and virtually all of them are worried about that information being stolen or abused.  
​
So in my opinion...

It’s too soon to tell when these features will be rolled out, if they’ll be useful, and whether they are going to be made in your interest.  Plenty of politicians submit well-meaning population focused bills to Congress that turn into money-grubbing industry-focused laws and that’s no different for technology.  

So we suggest

​Take your safety security and anonymity into your own hands.  Follow our 5-steps to your anonymity and join our already implemented social communities on known safe platforms:
Picture: 5 easy ways to stay safe on the internet Link: https://www.rescqu.net/blog/5-easy-steps-to-stay-safe-anonymous-on-the-internet
Protect yourself Online
Picture: sign up for our anonymous weekly digest!
Get our Anonymous Weekly Digest
Picture: Sign up for our Private Whisper Community!
Join our Whisper Group
Picture: Samantha with Suzanne Dibble

Samantha V Logan

Samantha is the Executive Director of RESCQU.NET as well as a full-stack digital marketer.  She struggles with both of these roles as her primary job asks her to collect  as much information as the internet will allow, while she also actively fights that surveillance marketing for you here at RESCQU.NET.  

Samantha's Bio
View my profile on LinkedIn

*​P.S: We C/P'd some interesting quotes from his blog below:


Read More
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Announcing This Year's Unsung Internet Hero Award  |  Shh, she has no idea!

3/6/2019

1 Comment

 
Picture: Samantha V Logan with Suzanne Dibble at Traffic & Conversion Summit 2019Suzanne Dibble (left) and me (fangirling) at Traffic & Conversion Summit 2019 in San Diego.
For today’s blog, I want to introduce you to a person who has no idea they’ve made a massive impact on the closeted LGBTQ+ community.  

She is a very prominent lawyer who has worked for one of the richest men in the world.  She’s an online small business lawyer, and as far as I am aware, she has nothing to do with the queer community.

This woman’s name is Suzanne Dibble.  
​
​Before I can tell you about Suzanne, we need to go back to a specific event in LGBTQ+ history:  The Facebook Real Names Policy.

Some Back Story:

​See, way back in 2013 Facebook had been collecting all of our data on an epic scale. 

Everyone was. This was the same for Google, YouTube, Twitter, and every other website because your data was insanely useful for advertising.  It got so bad that a small little-known site called Ello.Co was started to change the way we view ads as a public.  

Then Facebook made a major mistake.  

To prevent fake accounts, and to ensure that their data always included “real” and “reliable” information on each person with an account (to sell ads more easily), Facebook took a step to ensure that no "fake names" could be used on the platform.

​To implement this policy, Facebook made an algorithm that decided what a name looked like, and made a new rule that stated you could report accounts that had “fake names” or names that were not attached to a real person.  Once flagged the algorithm would either shut down the account, throw the doors wide open on its privacy, or worse - ask for legal documents to prove the name.  
Picture
The real names policy effectively crowd-sourced account deletion to the masses, and the masses then unfairly targeted people with “odd” (ethnic) names and LGBTQ+ people who they just simply didn’t like. 

Needless to say, it It affected minorities heavily.  

​Entire swathes of the LGBTQ+ community were dead-named, accounts trans people were previously using as other identities were deleted, people ended up homeless, and Trans Lifeline, The Trevor Project, and other emergency LGBTQ+ organizations reported record suicide calls. 
"The masses unfairly targeted people with “odd” names and LGBTQ+ people who they just simply didn’t like.  It affected minorities heavily. "
Entire families and lives were ruined because Facebook wanted to stalk more accurately.

This Policy created 2 things:

First: 
It created a mass exodus of LGBTQ+ people from Facebook's platform and they flocked to "anti-social networks" like Whisper and the previously aforementioned Ello.Co. 
(We have communities on both BTW!)
Join our Whisper group!
And Second: 
It created a massive rift of trust between Facebook’s use of data, their moral integrity, and whether its public could trust them which ultimately lead to the Cambridge Analytica Scandal and scrutiny for all other platforms.
Follow us on Ello!
​Fast forward several years and we can see that a vast majority of the distrust against Facebook and literally every other data-mining business including Google and YouTube largely began in these early years of social media between 2010-2014. 

Today we live in a world where it's legal for any company to pigeonhole users into disclosing every aspect of themselves for "marketing based on surveillance" which we call "analytics".  

These are marketing tactics based on stalking every user every second of their life.  I discussed how this works in my previous blog, "Why the Web is Built to Out You, and How You can Avoid it."

Enter Suzanne Dibble...

Picture: Suzanne actively teaches businesses the danger of surveillance marketing.Suzanne actively teaches businesses the danger of surveillance marketing.
​Since the Facebook real names policy and Cambridge Analytica scandals, the small businesses and the marketing industry as a whole has been in the spotlight for abusing surveillance marketing tactics.
​
And in this world Suzanne Dibble has made her career navigating small businesses ethically and properly through this gigantic mess of big data farming for marketing purposes.  

When a broad-sweeping set of regulations and laws called the General Data Protection Regulation or GDPR passed in the European Union in 2017, marketing companies FLIPPED. 

GDPR severely restricts how the internet uses your user data.  This is the reason every company HAS to inform you cookies are a thing and why. If you don't know what cookies are we made a blog here.
PictureHere's your Trophy! wait....Well, we'll make one when we have money!
But Suzanne went a step further. 

Suzanne made a businesses that not only allowed businesses to navigate GDPR, but she discussed the future of data protection and the END OF SURVEILLANCE MARKETING!!!

For her, this era of mass data abuse will end.  There is no stopping it. Instead of waiting for hard-fought laws to change businesses, she's making businesses change culturally BEFORE the laws even change at all! 

Every client who takes her advice, will naturally, without knowing it, become a little more closet-friendly. 

And for that, Suzanne Dibble, Lawyer extraordinaire, is helping to end a dangerous era for LGBTQ+ people, People of Color, and virtually every other net-citizen.  

So I would like to nominate right now,  Suzanne Dibble for the just now invented, totally should be real, “RESCQU.NET Unsung Internet Improvement Hero Award".
​
From the bottom of my heart, thank you.  It was amazing to meet you. And I hope you read this.  Keep doing your work in amazing and fantastic ways.  

​~ Samantha
Picture

Samantha V Logan

Samantha is a full-stack marketer and the Executive Director of RESCQU.NET.  Her experiences in marketing allow her to keep closeted and stealth LGBTQ+ people safe by working to combat the more nefarious aspects of marketing in her communities and on RESCQU.NET's site.
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Pronouns and You: Clearing up Confusion so You Can be More Inclusive and Less Awkward

2/27/2019

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Picture of pronouns.Commonly used pronouns
Hi there! My name is Erin and my preferred pronouns are she/her/hers or they/them/theirs. Does this sound familiar? Maybe you’ve heard it in passing and it’s made you question how much it mattered. Couldn’t you have guessed based on my picture and bio? Well, I’m a lucky person in that yes, you probably could have guessed based on my appearance. Yet there are many people out there that this isn’t true for.

I wrote this blog as an introduction to pronouns for those who are unfamiliar or uncomfortable navigating them.
Sex vs. Gender

Before we dive in, I do want to touch on the subject of sex vs. gender.

“Sex” refers to a person’s biological makeup. This includes body parts, chromosomes, and hormones. “

Gender” refers to how a person presents themselves. This includes many things like clothes, hairstyle, makeup, and mannerisms.

This is the most simplistic explanation of the two. If you want a more detailed explanation, read this article from Planned Parenthood.
Gender Unicorn chartGender Unicorn. Credit to TSER.
Gender Identity and Expression

To understand pronouns, it is important to understand gender identity and gender expression.

A person’s gender identity is how they feel in relation to the world. For example: I identify as a woman, so my pronouns are she/her/hers and I also feel comfortable with they/them/theirs.

I express myself in a feminine manner - I wear makeup, have long hair, and shop in the women’s section for my clothes.

This is part of what makes me lucky; my assigned sex, gender identity, and gender expression all line up in a way that is socially agreed upon and therefore, you can probably guess my pronouns by looking at me.
Some Pronouns to Know

There are a plethora of pronouns that people use today, but I will go over the most common ones below:
  • She/her/hers - woman
  • ​He/him/his - man
  • They/them/theirs - nonbinary/agender/gender fluid
  • Ze/hir/hirs - nonbinary/agender/gender fluid

These are the pronouns that I hear the most in my life, but the list goes on and on. For more, see this article.
Pronouns in Practice

Now, it’s great that you understand these terms in theory. But, how do you apply them in real life? You can no longer just look at someone and know how to describe them. How do you figure out what their pronouns are?

A general rule of thumb to use is this:

Do you interact with this person enough that knowing their specific pronouns is relevant? You don’t need to ask a random person you bumped into on the bus about their pronouns.

However, a new friend that you see on the bus every day might appreciate that you care. If you feel uncomfortable asking, try starting with your pronouns and going from there. If it is just way too uncomfortable at the start to ask what a person’s pronouns are, try using neutral pronouns for the short term.
Conclusion
Mistakes are not the end of relationships. This is important because everybody makes mistakes. 
The important thing is that you quickly correct yourself and move on. Do not dwell on that one word until everyone gets uncomfortable. Work to be better in the future and all will be forgiven.

This was an introduction to pronouns, but if you want to discuss this further, please check out RESCQU NET’s “I have ?’s” group!

Erin Dawn

Writer and Volunteer for Rescqu.net. Rises in the east

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The Difference Between Bisexuality and Pansexuality

1/30/2019

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There are many different subcategories when it comes to sexual identity.  But when you don't clearly fit into a "definitive" box, properly understanding yourself and being understood by others is difficult.  

Bisexual and Pansexual people are especially affected by this and it can be alienating.

So, my name is Lane Lunsford, and for this blog, I’d like to take a crack at outlining the difference between bisexual and pansexuality clear, but I'd also like to focus on the similar feelings of alienation and loneliness you can share. And why the support group I run here on RESCQU.NET, Bitter/Sweet aims to support people of all sexual identities equally, while still celebrating their subtle differences.
​
Learn a little more about me and Bitter/Sweet!
Or click to see really cute sloths.  That's also a good reason :)

So, what's the difference between Bi and Pan?

First, let’s get our terms straight. It can be a little confusing since these terms are often used interchangeably and there can be overlap between the two identities. We are working with a spectrum here, so this is less about drawing hard distinctions and more about trying to point out, generally, where these identities don’t overlap.
A picture of the bisexual pride flag.Bisexual pride flag.
Bisexuality

Bisexuality is the romantic and/or sexual attraction to both female and male people. It's usually situated smack-dab in the middle of the spectrum, but many people have preferences.

Some people express their attraction as an active awareness for the traits they prefer in either a person's sex or gender, while others express it as a passive lack of preference for either.  The one thing in common, is that bi people can at least hazily define who the are attracted to by a gender or sex.
A picture of the pansexual pride flag.Pansexual pride flag.
Pansexuality
Pansexuality is the romantic and/or sexual attraction to anybody of any sexuality or gender. It is, sometimes, seen as encompassing a wider range of attraction than bisexuality, but this is arguable.

Where bisexuality refers to attraction to both men and women and makes an attempt to delineate preferences, pansexuality is almost a "lack of".  It includes genderqueer, agender, and transgender individuals almost by default. Pansexuality rarely acknowledges the gender binary and for some people that means gender doesn't factor in at all when they see that someone walk in to a room.

I should stress...

I am speaking in the most general way possible when defining these terms. If you identify with one of these sexualities, but don’t feel like parts of the definition apply, don’t worry. These labels are merely concepts used to help people better express themselves and find solidarity in common experience. 

​If the terms limit rather than empower you, to the flames they go.

Stepping away from the differences...

Despite the differences in these identities, the struggles people face are often similar. 

Common Problems
Both Bi and Pan folx are often commanded to “pick a side”; to express a uniform sexual preference. They are also erased in the media, in politics, and sadly, even in some parts of the LGBTQ+ community.
Picking a person to date or live with is paramount to picking that side regardless of what they wanted, and people can often view that behavior as "traitorous", or "growing out of it" depending on the side you're on and who that bi person has agreed to be with. 
​
The tension usually exists because bi and pan individuals can enter into relationships that let them appear completely straight or gay.  This helps them go stealth in the hetero-normative and gay communities, but that also means dealing with a constant erasure and stereotyping of their identity.
Picture of cakeBitter/Sweet cake
Bitter/Sweet  

This is where Bitter/Sweet comes in.

The name Bitter/Sweet refers to this tension between being able to pass as heterosexual while still dealing with the stress and sadness that comes with being bi or pan. I wanted to facilitate a group that could help anyone within the bisexual+ and pansexual community feel a sense of togetherness and that their identities were valid.

The bi+ community faces unique challenges that can sometimes be overlooked in the larger LGBT+ world. Bitter/Sweet aims to welcome all of those individuals that may be afraid to speak up in other support settings because they have been told their worries and concerns were not as important.

We are here to tell you that your experiences are real and shouldn’t be dismissed. This is a safe community where you will be welcomed to discuss your struggles and find friends who support you. We hope you’ll join us!

If you'd like to sign up and join us at Bitter/Sweet please click here to learn more. 
Bitter/Sweet: Bi/Pan Support Group

Author

Lane Lunsford is the Support group facilitator and a writer for RESCQU.NET.  She also likes sloths, warm stuffed animals, tattoos, and lending help to others.  

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How to Find The Queer Resource You Need Now in 10 Seconds

12/18/2018

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​A few weeks ago I, Ricki Palmisano, introduced myself here as the LGBT+ resources coordinator and outlined my number one goal: 
Making RESCQU.NET's LGBT+ Resource Database easier
​for LGBT+ people who need valuable resources fast, to navigate.
​
But before I can show you how to do that, you gotta know how to use the database in the first place! 

So we created a super handy video for you to learn how to use the database, and this blog will outline step-by-step how to find the resources you need!  
How to use our resources database: A how-to video on finding the right resources for you.
Now, using the database starts with this deceptively simple top navigation bar.  With this top-bar you can search the entire database using any keyword you want, filter the results based on your needs, and sort them based on any piece of information you want.

NOTE: ​If you're on mobile this bar doesn't show. We're still working on a way to make this searchable,  but if you put your phone in landscape mode it may show depending on the size of your device.
Picture

Part 1: The Easy Part - Searching

Of all the parts of the database this one is the easiest to use, but knowing how it searches can help you use it quicker.  

To access this feature, on a computer, either press Control and F (Ctrl+F) while your Curser is focused on the database, or select the magnifier glass in the top-right-hand corner of the database.  Then type in your query. 

The search feature uses Boolean Operators like AND, OR, NOT, and *'s to improve your search results.  

AND lets you search two terms. "Surgery AND Transition" will return all results that each would alone. NOT does the opposite and returns all surgery results that do not mention Transition.  *s such as in Trans* return all words starting with trans such as transgender, transsexual, transgression, translucent - etc.
Picture: learn more about Boolean operators (link: http://pgcc.libguides.com/c.php?g=60038&p=385676)
Learn more about Boolean Operators

Part 2: What to Do When You Don't Know What You Need

This section is alternatively called *drum roll* "The Relevance System"
One of the biggest issues our community of questioning, closeted, and stealth people have is that your problems tend to be complicated corner-cases and exceptions that leave you feeling hopeless.  

Your issues are complex, involve a ton of catch-22s, and when you're in the thick of it, things can feel like you don't know where to start. 

​You may need to know how to change your name in a specific state, but that state won't accept your federal identity information.  Finding a therapist that is trans* friendly is a gargantuan task, and there aren't a lot of resources if you're a lesbian going home to your conservative family for the holidays.  

So, we've created the "relevant tag" system. 

This is a list of different tags that we've asked our organizations to state they have a "specialty" in solving. 

First, Use the "filter" feature [1] and sort by the "relevant to...[keywords[" column [2], to pull up a list of those tags.  Then simply turn on the tags relevant to your issue [3] and the database narrows down all of our resources to the export organizations that will help solve your problem! 
Picture
For a full "list" of the available keywords we use to sort, or what they mean, consult this index, but we'll also provide a text list in a future blog:
The biggest advantage to this system is the "emergency" tag.  This tag allows you to find all organizations that deal with getting you help NOW.  Add Emergency plus the relevant tag to find access to resources that can help you in a pinch.  

So what do you do when you have the resource up and in your hand?  

Part 3: What to Do with the Resource When You Have it

Once you've found the resource you need, clicking on it [1] will populate a more advanced "card" of data that includes all of the relevant tags that organization has claimed expertise in, [2], a description of the organization, and most importantly...

One closet-friendly person you can contact either via phone or email to help you find the best person in that organization to handle your issue, anonymously, quickly, and quietly [3].
Picture
In this case, we're looking at the emergency sexual assault organization and educational organization RAINN.  At RAINN, we've found Jodi Omear, who is a high ranking member of the organization.

You can use a private and separate email account to message her directly, or call the RAINN hotline (800-656-HOPE [4673]) about potential sexual assault issues, legal paths to getting out of the situation, and what to do if you're in a domestic violence situation right this moment.  
My job is to make these cards easier for you to use, but a simple 3 step, 10-second process can get you the resources you need right now and with every partner organization we add to the database, we hope you'll find this database the most useful it can be. 

If you know an organization that isn't on the list feel free to shoot them a link to ourPartner page here, and keep a look out for our next database indestructible: how to use the relevant to features! 

About the Author: Ricki Palmisano

Picture
Ricki is our lead Database Coordinator for RESCQU.NET. Working with a team of other volunteers, she vets and establishes partnerships with organizations to ensure closet-friendly resources are in the database, updated, and have a singular contact who can field your needs at that organization. In her off-time she loves tea, studies copyright law, pets, and being an absolutely amazing friend.
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Meet our new Resource Coordinator: Ricki Palmisano!

11/29/2018

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When I first worked on RESCQU.NET’s resources database as a temporary volunteer, I had no idea what I was in for. 

There we were, in the Lair of Abraxas, for an event to build a database of over 150 LGBTQ+ resources, and I was looking over several weeks worth of work, matching organizations with their contact information.  There was a long way to go, but I approached it as a logic game.

The night was full of tea and friends, and I even got a T-shirt at the end! Weeks of work beforehand started to come to fruition. At the end of the night our leader, Samantha, approached me. She complimented me on my work in the database over the prior few weeks and asked me how I felt about it. 

And then she asked me if I'd like to join the team, curating this database permanently—the rest is history. 

I’m Ricki Palmisano, and this is the resource database. 

A main feature of the database is the ‘vetting’ process. We will call and email each organization to make sure we have the best anonymous contact for closeted and out folks alike. Automation is something we can look forward to, but for now, I’m working out the kinks, and enjoying the one-on-one time I get to have with some of our founding partner organizations.

So What's on the Database?

Picture: Contact Northern Colorado Eclectic if you're local to Colorado. Link:https://nocoequality.org/ Contact Northern Colorado Eclectic if you're local to Colorado.
Two organizations immediately jumped on board the database project with me.

Northern Colorado Eclectic:

Eclectic was kind enough to share their resources with us from day one and largely contributed to the volume of resources our database has now. Eclectic is a local group that organizes events, support groups, and programs in the northern Colorado area to support and educate people in and around the LGBTQ+ community.  Eclectic also doubles as an advocacy group associated with CO state representative Dr. Joann Ginal, who focuses on health care and public issues for the LGBTQ+ and intersectional communities. Check them out on our database!
Picture: Beyond the Mirror is an awesome resource. Check it out if you are in Fort Collins. https://www.holistichealingandtherapycenter.com/Beyond the Mirror is an awesome resource. Check it out if you are in Fort Collins.
Beyond the Mirror:

Is an identity counseling service flew through the vetting process and I’m proud to have them on our list! They are useful for folks questioning, still in the closet, or at any point in their journey. They provide services specialized for teens and those with eating disorders. Look up their name or ‘counseling’ on our database to find their anonymous contact or your own local equivalent LGBT+ counseling services.

Take a look at our database to find these resources and more. Type in the organization’s name into the search bar on the upper right-hand corner of the database window.

What’s Next for the Database?

Now I have a new task in front of me: How do we make this database easy to navigate? 

Together, Samantha and I came up with a solution: a way to tag each organization with searchable keywords that you would use to find that resource. That way people could easily find the resources most useful to them at the time they need it. 

Over time, spearheading the database has become a bit more organized.  I brought a friend of mine with me to volunteer and now I have a partner in crime.  Together our goal is to make the database as full and accessible as possible. 

If you have any questions on how to use the database or have a suggestion of your own, you can email me anonymously at Ricki.Palmisano@rescqu.net! (I’m closet-friendly, too)

About the Author: Ricki P.

Ricki is the Database coordinator for RESCQU.NET. She vets and establishes partnerships with organizations to ensure closet-friendly resources are in the database.
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Why and How to support LGBT+ military and veterans  | A Resource Packet for Veterans, and a How-to for everyone else

11/12/2018

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PictureVeteran's Crisis Line: 1-800-273-8255. https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/Content/images/VeteransCrisisLineLogo.pngJust one of the many resources we will offer in this blog - Share this resource with LGBT+ veterans you know!
​Today is a big day.  

In observance of Veterans Day, at the launch of Transgender Awareness Week, and coming to you one week before Transgender Day of Remembrance, I want to observe the gravity of the month of November for the LGBT+ community in this blog.

Today, as we show gratitude and appreciation for those who have fought bravely for our liberties and freedoms, we must also remember that many service members do not have adequate access to the support they need and deserve; both LGBT+ and cis-straight veterans.

In this blog, I will bring up several of the hurdles and pitfalls that keep these veterans and soldiers silent, in the closet, or stealth throughout their service, and afterward. 

And for those of you in this situation, we’d like to provide some resources to give you that support and make sure you’re heard.

The Military’s Culture of Prejudice

PictureTAVA: Transgender Veterans Association: http://transveteran.org/for-veterans/trans-support-locator/A second resource for Transgender Veterans struggling with legal, healthcare, or other issues.
Up until the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DA;DT) in the U.S. military, there was minimal information on the specific concerns that LGBT+ service members faced. 

In 2010, The Williams Institute of UCLA released a report on the estimated number of lesbian, gay, and bisexual men and women in the military.  

It showed that they comprised roughly 2.2% of all military personnel. 

In 2014 UCLA released a new report stating there were over 150,000 active transgender individuals in the armed forces.

While this data shed some light on the existence of LGBT+ military personnel, it obviously could not account for closeted individuals. Despite having the opportunity to serve openly, many military personnel did not, and still do not feel safe to come out within today’s military culture. 
When I was in the Navy, I couldn't be honest about my life.  My Girlfriend, Victoria, had to be called Victor because I risked expulsion from service.  I felt shame and fear. When DA;DT was repealed it was life-changing.  People cried just to be able to hold the one they loved.  But now, with Trump, that fear is back, and it's not just keeping people in the closet. It's threatening the lives of everyone who came out then. 

This fear is legitimate and has removed thousands from service.  Love MUST win.
~Navy Veteran
The rates of discrimination towards minority communities within the armed forces are still higher than the general population. That is especially true for transgender and gender non-conforming folxs. These disproportionate rates of discrimination can be a factor in closeted individuals choosing not to come out or not feeling comfortable serving at all.

Access to medical and mental health care are also still lacking for LGBT+ service members. 
While policy changes have occurred in the last decade to allow for more medical protections, many same-sex spouses and transgender veterans face difficult hurdles when seeking treatment. 

The Department of Veterans Affairs states that it has improved policies to make access easier and more secure for transgender veterans, but an overwhelming number face limitations when it comes to transition-related surgical care, applications being denied and repealed upwards of 3 times, and medical practitioners either don’t know the rules, or avidly ignore them in practice. ​

Veteran Discrimination After Serving

PictureOut Serve SLDN: https://www.outserve-sldn.org/legal/OutServe is a legal organization that caters to LGBT+ veterans struggling with DA;DT
​Older LGBT+ veterans face further difficulties when it comes to their discharge status. 

Since 1993, more than 13,000 individuals were discharged due to Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. 
.
Individuals discharged for homosexuality were discharged with a "less than honorably" status that can be difficult to dispute. 

A less than honorable discharge effectively bars these individuals from receiving veterans benefits, cost them government positions, and comes with a burden of shame. 

Discharge statuses can be now can reviewed and changed to honorable for DA;DT reasons, but that process is untimely and demands a fair bit of paperwork. So many LGBT+ veterans have lived with their lower statuses for so long that their lives have been significantly set back by it and no correction will be enough to recover that lost time, effort, social position, and money.

So what can Veteran’s and Allies Do? ​

Veteran's Legal Institute: https://www.vetslegal.com/The Veterans legal institute is the first place to start if you have trouble with medical issues and policies, finding work, or discrimination issues
​Organizations are working to support LGBT+ veterans in various areas, such as AVER (American Veterans for Equal Rights), but what is needed most is broad wide-sweeping changes to the cultural approaches the military takes to protect, advocate for, and empower military personnel - both during and after serving.  

The best thing an ally can do, however, is to listen and then respond with support by boosting the stories of LGBT+ veterans issues.  Donate to media organizations like GLAAD, the Personal Stories Project, and other organizations that seek to signal boost veterans, and contribute to the financial health of the organizations we recommend below:

If You're a Veteran, we encourage you to use these Resources

You can find these resources and hundreds of others on our Resources page, It's visually easy to understand, organized, and searchable.  Simply filter and sort the database by your stage in your journey, the issues you are facing, and/or your identity! Try it out here!

  1. In emergencies: 
    1. Veterans crisis Network
      1. https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/

        The Veterans Crisis Line connects Veterans in crisis and their families and friends with qualified, caring Department of Veterans Affairs responders through a confidential toll-free hotline, online chat, or text. Veterans and their loved ones can call 1-800-273-8255 and Press 1, chat online, or send a text message to 838255 to receive confidential support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Support for deaf and hard of hearing individuals is available. 
  2. For legal issues: 
    1. OUT SERVE - SLDN
      1. https://www.outserve-sldn.org/page/legal?
        ​
        OutServe-SLDN provides free legal counseling to service members with legal issues stemming from discrimination based on one's perceived or actual sexual orientation or gender presentation, the regulations governing military service by HIV+ people, the rules addressing military service by transgender persons, and offers assistance to veterans seeking to upgrade or correct their discharge paperwork.
    2. ALCU - 
      1. https://www.aclu.org/

        For almost 100 years, the ACLU has worked to defend and preserve the individual rights and liberties guaranteed by the Constitution and laws of the United States.
    3. Veterans Legal Institute
      1. https://www.vetslegal.com/

        Veterans Legal Institute® (VLI) provides pro bono legal assistance to homeless, at risk, disabled and low-income current and former service members to eradicate barriers to housing, healthcare, education, and employment and foster self-sufficiency.

  3. For post-military civilian assistance
    1. Hire Heroes USA
      1. https://www.hireheroesusa.org/

        Hire Heroes USA empowers U.S. military members, veterans and military spouses to succeed in the civilian workforce.

  4. For Transgender Veteran Care and Advocacy
    1. Transgender American Veterans Association
      1. http://transveteran.org/for-veterans/trans-support-locator/

        We work non-stop finding relevant information across the web on transgender issues and bring it to you every day. Here are just a few of our latest Facebook posts. Enjoy!

Lane Lunsford

Lane is the Facilitator of the newly formed Bisexual / Pansexual group Bitter / Sweet.  She's spent most of her life counseling troubled youth and the LGBT+ community.  She's recently married her husband and experiences the same Bi-erasure she is supporting you with now.  Join her group! ​
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Why Halloween is Just the Best for Invisible LGBTQ+ People

10/30/2018

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Ghosts and Goblins and Ghouls and Gender Bending Gays all around! 

Tomorrow kids will be knocking on your door, and most of the adults will be out to their own parties, dressed in a variety of different costumes from the sexy nurse, to Lumber-Jack Skellington (I'm disappointed the internet doesn't have a picture for that one).​
Halloween is upon us and conveniently, today is also the last day of LGBT+ history month, so in this blog, we'd like to take the time to reflect on the history of Halloween in the LGBT+ community and why this holiday's continued keeping is so important!
​
First, it should be noted:
​Halloween started out as a religious holiday and make no bones about it, it's still sacred for many.  Samhain (pronounced Sowwin) was the ancient Celtic religious holiday Halloween is currently known for.  Before it's "transition" and absorption within Christian and eventually corporate-culture, it was joined with a variety of other holidays around the fall by mostly northern-European people. 

The Italian people still celebrate Borgo a Mozzano throughout the month of October which looks more like Halloween than Samhain did and is the very likely "usurper."

This religious origin to Halloween does need to be respected, as do those who consider tomorrow night holy.  But this holiday is nothing like its previous form.  It's now considered "#GayChristmas."
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A post shared by Thair (@forboyslikeme) on Oct 30, 2018 at 7:01am PDT

Halloween's Drag History

It should come as no surprise that a holiday about dressing up resulted in a few "drag" parties.  Cross-dressing is an irreverent, but accepted act on this most sacred of days for the LGBT+ community. 

In the 1950s-70s when being gay was outlawed, this allowed a kind of "acceptance" to bloom in gay bars and counter-cultural gathering places for the evening.  

Starting on the major coasts of the United States, many venues featured dress-up parties for the adults. For the closeted, invisible, gay clubs throughout the cities of San-Francisco, the out-and-proud, bold-and-beautiful drag scene which was often viewed as "a vaudeville stage show" got to shine proudly. 

This provided people a space.  A space to "negotiate" with the world around them and have a day where they could play with their genders and sexuality and have no recourse.  

This grew only more important in the 80's as the AIDS epidemic swept through.  

Halloween shifted at that time, from a holiday to play with your identity without stress, to a mardi-gras of sorts.  A day to cut loose, to be free, and to experience one's LGBT+ identity but also a day to remember the people who had been lost.  The people "who aren't at this party."

From that point forward, Halloween became synonymous with permission to be unabashedly gay.  Permission to be trans.  Permission to break the hard-and-fast societal rule loud and clear.  

Halloween's Global Popularization

Parties, Gay or straight, are fun.  Really fun.  And they look fun.  So they caught on. 

Moving into the late 80's and early 90s, American cultural festivities swept the nation and ran across seas.  According to CNN,  the British grocery store chain, Tesco's sales of pumpkins in 2005, was tripled by 2010, almost entirely because of British people picking up what was mostly a forgotten holiday until families saw Hocus Pocus and Nightmare Before Christmas.  

Popular culture - originally gay culture - created a holiday that adults could give their children.  It was fun, and most of all - it was consumable. It could sell. Now the holiday is celebrated worldwide in Japan, the UK, the middle east, Africa, everywhere.  

LGBTQ+ people the world over now "reap" the same benefits San Francisco did - identity negotiation.

What Halloween Means for Minorities

On any ordinary day, the idea of a man in a dress, or a gender-swapped Dean Winchester is not well regarded at the local grocery store.

Going to a party at a conservative friend's home "looking like a Dyke" is dangerous.  For teenagers, cross-dressing or using makeup is reserved for females, and assuming identities beyond that of traditional society is so frowned upon that we require organizations to provide support under the radar, half-way houses and homeless shelters when it goes wrong, and suicide-lifelines specifically for those people who do not conform. 

But on Halloween, you're most conservative of the conservative friends are okay with it all.  You can go out in public "in drag" you can go out with barely any clothes on at all, you can party and grind on anyone you want, and you have somewhat of a "pass."  It's Halloween and therefore expected that you'll assume the identity of someone they believe you're not.  

To the LGBTQ+ community, Halloween is a sacred holiday because it observes the hidden identities we want to "try on" alongside our silly costume.  We want to be the sexy ass-less chaps cowboy or the naughty nurse - we're allowed.  

​And that....is freeing.  

But if you can't participate

Participating in this idea of changing who you are to "try on" an identity is called Identity Tourism and it's not reserved for Halloween. 

You can also do it online, safely, without your parents knowing.

Come visit our peer support group, "bittersweet" tonight (10/30/18) to discuss how! 

If you don't qualify or were late to the party, no worries! 
Learn more about identity negotiation here
Picture
Or get ready to vote on november 6th with our voting toolkit! Why you may not vote and how to! 

Author:  Samantha V. Logan

Samantha is the Executive Director of RESCQU.NET, an online Community Manager, and full-stack marketer.  She launched Trans* Youth Channel in 2013 to record her transition and help other transgender people online transition safely.  She saw a need to protect people who weren't out yet, and transitioned the organization to make the site you see today.
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But Did They Listen?  The Impact of Nanette, One Year Later

10/16/2018

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"Where are the quiet gays supposed to go? The pressure on my people to express our identity and pride through the metaphor of party is...intense."
Over the past summer, much of the world has become widely familiar with
Hannah Gadsby’s Netflix special, Nanette.

And for good reason.  

After it’s debut in Melbourne, Australia last year, the show has been met with widespread critical acclaim and the response from most minority populations, particularly from the LGBTQ+ and #MeToo communities, showed how powerful and necessary her message was.  Even more so when it’s placed in today's political context.

Although it’s marketed as a comedy special, Gadsby’s Nanette delivers far more than laughs.
It’s equal parts heartbreaking raw emotion, intensely personal storytelling, and stunningly artful comedic and critical prose.

So today’s blog, half way into LGBT+ history month, we are reviewing the impact of Nanette and how it's opened doors for LGBT+ communities to share their most silent stories.

So the Question today is: 
What is Nanette’s impact months after the show’s finale?
Small Warning Though: If you haven’t seen this show, and you’re in an environment that allows you to do so, go watch it.  Bring tissues, and reserve an hour or so to think about it afterward.

For real, you're going to cry. It made me cry.

What is Nanette?

Hannah Gadsby performed the “comedy” special Nanette on stage throughout 2017-2018 in Australia, Europe, the United States, and Canada. ​
In all cases, audiences went in expecting a traditional stand-up comedy set and were left shaken, inspired, speechless and/or all three. ​

​In fact, Hannah set out to create Nanette as a farewell to comedy. Instead, she used the stage to tell her story the way it had never fully been told - in the most honest fashion possible. 
What she presents in Nanette is a harsh look at how comedy has long been a place that encourages humiliation towards oppressed groups of people. What Hahnah has ultimately achieved is a thought-provoking piece of art that continues to inspire marginalized communities the world over, to tell their own stories and break the silent status-quo. ​​

What is the Status-Quo?

Members of the LGBT+ community, too often feel a considerable amount of pressure from society to keep their more heart-breaking stories of discrimination and harsh realities hidden, in an effort not to disrupt heterosexual individuals’ “comfort zones”. ~ Lane Lunsford
LGBT+ people and other minorities are told that we should remain silent and ashamed so others can be eased into the problem, or allow them to ignore it entirely.

We are told, “I don’t have a problem with LGBT+ individuals, so long as you keep it to yourself.”

The U.S military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy from 1994-2011 highlights the level of unease that knowing the details of our lives creates in straight-cis-hetero people.

How Did Nanette Change That Status-Quo?

What Gadsby does in her hour-long special is what so many of us have long sought to do; Communicate our stories un-filtered and un-apologetically in a non-self-deprecating way.
Nanette tells Hannah's story In a way that does not conceal traumatic details.  She does not spare outsiders from the discomfort and fear that LGBT+ individuals face in our daily lives.

It’s an inspiring Concept; to proudly share our whole story, not just the edited version mainstream society is willing to hear.

While she specifically targets her fellow comedians and the art of comedy itself for its particularly negative impacts on minorities, her performance represents how we are all taught to bring ourselves down in order shield others from the traumas of our experiences.

We have adapted to the idea that we must suffer in order to increase our creativity, and ultimately, our worth. By sharing her story in its entirety - the good bits and the harsh realities - we see that our power resides in our voices.

Comedians have relied on self-deprecating humor for a long time now. Comedians Use bits and pieces of their personal lives as the building blocks of seemingly harmless jokes.

Gadsby takes those stories further, to point out how often audiences are laughing at parts of a comedian’s life that are deeply troubling. Those “seemingly harmless jokes” stir up memories that are not so harmless, but we as an audience are not asked to consider this further.

Gadsby reminds us over and over again that we are paying for her to make us feel something and to question our own role in her trauma. In this way, Nanette in addition to giving voice to marginalized individuals has also created conversations amongst those who have never thought about the pain they have caused to others.

​They are left questioning themselves, rather than having Gadsby resolve those questions for them.

But, did they listen?

Gadsby is not the first comedian to open up so personally about her life. There are plenty of other powerful comedians that push us to question social standards and look at our own actions. 

Nanette stands out because of how far it has reached.

Articles on the Washington post, and culture mass.  It won an Emmy. Discussions reached Forbes, a business magazine. .  

Although the hits are slowing, and criticisms suggest cis-hetero-men are broadly rejecting it, Nanette is still resonating throughout the LGBT+ community as a piece that empowers us to speak up and in this area, it is showing NO signs of stopping.

Our stories are important and our trauma is real. We are not alone in our struggles and it is crucial that we have spaces that lift us up rather than stirring up fear.

RESCQU NET also values your stories and we offer you the support to share your stories, in a closet-friendly manner. Indeed right now, as an invisible community member, you are experiencing these harsh realities and cruel prejudice already. 

We are here so that you can discuss your experiences with others and gain resources in our Support group program.  So consider attending one! 
How to keep yourself Anonymous Online
Why we started a Bi/Pan support group

Author: Lane Ramsay

Lane is the Facilitator of the newly formed Bisexual / Pansexual group Bitter / Sweet.  She's spent most of her life counseling troubled youth and the LGBT+ community.  She's recently married her husband and experiences the same Bi-erasure she is supporting you with now.  Join her group! 
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Net Safety 201:  How to Mask Your presence with ToR Browser

10/2/2018

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Picture
At RESCQU.NET we service people who could be cut off from their family, hurt, kicked out, ridiculed, or worse, if it's discovered that they're accessing LGBT+ resources.

We often have to help people who, as a result of these situations, must be so far under the radar that no 5-step Infographic to internet safety will cut it (you should still start here though).  

So to help those of you in this tough spot, we have a living blog post, How to Keep your LGBTQ+ Identity Hidden Online. that we constantly update once per month so you can learn more about keeping yourself safe.

We've added a summary of this post to it, but here, we're talking about Net Safety Class 201:
ToR browser and erasing your "net presence". 

Before we can talk about ToR Though, we need to talk about your "IP address" or how the internet knows what computer you are accessing it from.

Your Address is Like Caller ID

Picture[Infographic] IP addresses and internet structure.
The Internet is generally a very open place.

Internet Protocol Addresses or IP addresses are like envelopes for your "data" that are used to get it from its starting point (your computer) to the end destination (where the information is) and back. 

IP addresses carry necessary data that the receiving device can authenticate you with, much like a caller ID. If you seem legit, they'll reply back, or save you into their "contacts" and "call you" later.

If someone can read all the places with your IP Addresses, they can piece together who you are, and what you see on the internet.

​While the average interested person, school, or company, doesn’t typically want to go through the hassle of putting all those pieces together, there's a point where you might find someone who is that interested. 

Like say, if you're a Bisexual teen with very "strict" parents and with strict parental control services.

So How Do You "Erase" your IP Address?

There are several ways to prevent IP addresses being linked to you and your information.

​Systems or devices that don't require a user name and password to gain access to the Internet are reasonably untraceable, but this isn’t always an option.  There could be time limitations, or people will catch on because systems are too public, or web filters block certain sites at libraries.

Anonymous proxies and Virtual Private Networks (VPNs) are other ways to hide IP addressees, which we'll save for later blogs, but even then, these are difficult to set up and get access to, may cost money to use, and initial access is usually tracked.

The easiest way to mask your IP Address is using Tor browser, “The Onion Router”.

What is ToR browser?

First, a quick definition of Tor Browser and then we'll explain:

Tor is a browser that inefficiently sends and repackages your data through several relays and special encryption hubs on the internet, before arriving at it's final location.  Sending your data through several extra stops makes it difficult to link the originator of the data request (you) to the target of the request (The site's servers with the information you wanted).

Whew, that’s a mouthful – let’s break that down a bit.
  • Routing is how data is directed through the Internet.
  • Packets are the bundles of data you sent out and their routing information
    (the from and to addresses on an Envelope). 
  • Encryption is a technique that scrambles information so no one, but the sender and receiver can understand it.

So basically, instead of sending a letter straight to your aunt:
  1. You send it to someone that takes your envelope and scrambles the to and from information.
  2. They put it in a new envelope and send it to someone else who does the same thing.
  3. Several times after this is repeated the last person holds on to all of those envelopes, removes your letter, repackages it, and sends the letter in a brand new envelope to your aunt. 
  4. That new letter can't be opened without the old envelopes and the new data, but to your aunt, it looks like it came from that last person in the chain.
  5. She responds to the letter back to that last person, they shove the return letter into that old envelope and do a “return to sender
  6. Each person in the chain repeats the process until your aunt's reply gets back to you.
  7. If the letter was intercepted by a nosy third party somewhere in the middle, or even at your aunt’s house, they wouldn’t know where it came from or where it was supposed to go. 

    Side Note: There’s real mail services that do something like this, if you'd like to have some fun.    ​ ​
ToR browser's primary strength is that it’s easy to download and use, and designed precisely to mask IP addresses without extra configuration (in most cases), It's pretty good right out of the box as that's exactly what w'ere trying to achieve here.

​​Tor’s primary weakness however is that you have to download it. It has to be on your system.

​If someone else is monitoring you or your system, just having the software may raise some suspicions. Tor downloads are often completely blocked on some sites and they will not allow you access via Tor browser.

Okay Cool.  So How Do I Start Using It?

Tor is best utilized via the “Tor Browser” which is available for free from http://www.torproject.org.

Basically, you download the browser, and start using it, it’s that simple.

However, there are some caveats and limitations on what Tor can do for you. There are a list of warnings from the download page that you should definitely read and consider. 

For example;
"Tor does not protect all of your computer's Internet traffic when you run it. Tor only protects your applications that are properly configured to send their Internet traffic through Tor.
So, if you use the Tor Browser, it’s easy.  If you want to use other network services (say Skype), there's a learning curve.  Aaand you've got some work to do.
​

So, I use Tor, and Then I’m Totally Safe, Right?

No. it’s not that simple.  

What we can say is, "Tor will ensure that your IP address isn’t recorded on the other end of your internet exchange." That’s it. 

There are a few problems.

1. Sticking out like a sore thumb
It’s similar to using a fake name when you go to a hotel a lot. After a while, if you're the only one using an alias, they can tell you're the one signing your bills Mary Winchester of Lawrence, Kansas.

if you’re the only one using Tor in your physical location on your Internet Service Provider's (ISP’s) network, eventually, with enough monitoring, the person you’re trying to avoid, will figure it out and you'll just stick out like a sore thumb.

The network administrator or authorities can pinpoint traffic right back to you.   Using services outside of Tor, alongside it is like using your real credit card to pay for the hotel under your fake name.

2. The Content is Still Readable
This also doesn’t immediately prevent your local network administrator from being able to see what you’re trying to send or what you get back (which is why Tor isn’t enough!).

You still need to follow the 101 tips we offered you in prior blogs to really utilize Tor’s benefits.

3.  The origin and destinations are still the same
Those first hops out to the Tor network have to go through your local network and ISP. Tor isn’t magic!

There are ways to provide extra security to help hide from local system administrators like using Tor bridges if your network administrators or your ISP block direct access to Tor, and obfuscation; doing things to make figuring out your data and where you’re sending it mor difficult.

The Bottom Line: This is a Wrench. You Need a Tool Box.

Tor is only one tool of several you can use to protect your online identity.  Over the course of the next several months, we hope to give you more tools that you can use in concert to keep yourself safe.  

Be on the lookout for them, and join our local support groups, and weekly email digest so we can give these resources to you manually - no digital paper trail.  
Simpler ways to keep your identity hidden onlnie
Why the web is built to out you in the first place

This Article is curated by Jerri P (updated monthly)

Jerri joined RESCQU.NET to assist in attaining secure and safe technological systems.  Jerry did their masters in computer technology on computer languages and enforcing SSL documentation.  They now help us with the closet-friendly partner organization program, and inform you of the dangers of searching the internet unprotected.

Guest Author: Jeffery Kenworthy

Jeff is an avid user of Tor Browser and a "hacker in training".  He specializes in finding weak points in internet security for sites, databases, servers, and devices so software engineers can plug them.  He contributed a good deal to this article and hopes for LGBTQ+ safety to become a bigger issue in the Net Neutrality and Security debate.
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