Category: Announcement

What We Plan to do This Year, and Why Funding it is Vital

1/3/2019

Over the course of the past 6 years RESCQU.NET has been trying to get ourselves stable footing because it's hard to convince traditional LGBT+ funding organizations that closeted people can be catered to - let alone that it can greatly impact emergency organizations.

But this year is different.

2018 marked a come-back. We experienced an explosion in readers, viewers, and attention on the closeted, questioning, and stealth communities. Organizations have sought more connections this year than in the past two. The quality of the organizations has also increased.

So in 2019 I'd like to take some time to put forward our plans for the 2019 year,
And it sums up with one word: STRENGTH.

Goal #1: Strengthen our Resource Database

Partnering with other organizations is time consuming, arduous and takes a lot of volunteers.

After hiring our resource coordinators Ricki and Charlie we spent a long time discussing the program's future.

So our plan is just going to be to fill it to make it a better resource for all of you.

Then we'll be focusing on increasing the level of partnership interaction we have with these organizations using the closet-friendly program: a program that incentivizes organizations to change the way they interact with their audiences and make it more amenable for people who want to remain anonymous for any reason.

Why you should contribute to this goal:
We don't collect much user data. But we do have a ticker that counts enters and exits.

So we know for a fact that we get between 150-200 hits on the database per day and each lasts between 3-6 minutes. That means the database, in its current incomplete format is already providing one resource every 40 minutes on average.

That's useful. That's a LOT of people.

And if we can increase it's accuracy, it's reach, and it's support we could increase the rate at which resources are provided.

You can donate here to help us make this a reality:

Fund The Database

Goal #2: More Consistent Support Group Attendance

One of the most sought-after programs we had in prior years was the support group program.

But it never happened until last year. It took years to get the technology, leadership, and facilitators in place.

So when we did get it into place we were a little taken aback at how little it was utilized.

We know what we did wrong though. Advertising and reducing the hurdles to attend are our number one and number two positions. We have to be careful with these tasks moving forward, but we genuinely feel that these support groups can make for a powerful connection to community for a great amount of people.

So we'd appreciate your help by spreading the word about our support groups.

Bitter/Sweet Bi/Pan Group

I have ?s General Support Group

Why you should contribute to this goal:
Support groups are often one of the best ways for people to get over the hurdles that stop them from doing things emotionally. A nonprofit can reach out and provide as many resources as possible, but you can't make a horse drink.

At a support group people can feel more comfortable, and become a part of a community that guides them more, without pressuring them. They are places where you can "feel" your identity - not just express it.

So the more support groups we have for questioning, closeted, and stealth people, the more high-quality support we can put into delivering our resources. They can be an active community.

And there is no way that isn't worth it.

Goal #3: Announcing our Whisper Community!

If you've made it this far down this post, I just want to say thank you.

It's clear that you care a lot about the impact that RESCQU.NET has made in your life. And that is empowering to all of us.

But what we wanted to provide more was a sense of ACTIVE community.

Prior to 2017 our communities were a mailing list. "interaction" happened through our youtube team on Trans Youth Channel, in emails, and private communications and you couldn't really call it empowering.

But this year we are officially launching our upcoming Whisper community, and we'd like you to be a part of it!

It's currently up for you to join at this link, but we will officially launch it around the beginning of march :)

Join our Whisper Community!

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How to Find The Queer Resource You Need Now in 10 Seconds

12/18/2018

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A few weeks ago I, Ricki Palmisano, introduced myself here as the LGBT+ resources coordinator and outlined my number one goal:

Making RESCQU.NET's LGBT+ Resource Database easier
for LGBT+ people who need valuable resources fast, to navigate.

But before I can show you how to do that, you gotta know how to use the database in the first place!

So we created a super handy video for you to learn how to use the database, and this blog will outline step-by-step how to find the resources you need!

How to use our resources database: A how-to video on finding the right resources for you.

Now, using the database starts with this deceptively simple top navigation bar. With this top-bar you can search the entire database using any keyword you want, filter the results based on your needs, and sort them based on any piece of information you want.

NOTE: If you're on mobile this bar doesn't show. We're still working on a way to make this searchable, but if you put your phone in landscape mode it may show depending on the size of your device.

Part 1: The Easy Part - Searching

Of all the parts of the database this one is the easiest to use, but knowing how it searches can help you use it quicker.

To access this feature, on a computer, either press Control and F (Ctrl+F) while your Curser is focused on the database, or select the magnifier glass in the top-right-hand corner of the database. Then type in your query.

The search feature uses Boolean Operators like AND, OR, NOT, and *'s to improve your search results.

AND lets you search two terms. "Surgery AND Transition" will return all results that each would alone. NOT does the opposite and returns all surgery results that do not mention Transition. *s such as in Trans* return all words starting with trans such as transgender, transsexual, transgression, translucent - etc.

Learn more about Boolean Operators

Part 2: What to Do When You Don't Know What You Need

This section is alternatively called *drum roll* "The Relevance System"

One of the biggest issues our community of questioning, closeted, and stealth people have is that your problems tend to be complicated corner-cases and exceptions that leave you feeling hopeless.

Your issues are complex, involve a ton of catch-22s, and when you're in the thick of it, things can feel like you don't know where to start.

You may need to know how to change your name in a specific state, but that state won't accept your federal identity information. Finding a therapist that is trans* friendly is a gargantuan task, and there aren't a lot of resources if you're a lesbian going home to your conservative family for the holidays.

So, we've created the "relevant tag" system.

This is a list of different tags that we've asked our organizations to state they have a "specialty" in solving.

First, Use the "filter" feature [1] and sort by the "relevant to...[keywords[" column [2], to pull up a list of those tags. Then simply turn on the tags relevant to your issue [3] and the database narrows down all of our resources to the export organizations that will help solve your problem!

For a full "list" of the available keywords we use to sort, or what they mean, consult this index, but we'll also provide a text list in a future blog:

The biggest advantage to this system is the "emergency" tag. This tag allows you to find all organizations that deal with getting you help NOW. Add Emergency plus the relevant tag to find access to resources that can help you in a pinch.

So what do you do when you have the resource up and in your hand?

Part 3: What to Do with the Resource When You Have it

Once you've found the resource you need, clicking on it [1] will populate a more advanced "card" of data that includes all of the relevant tags that organization has claimed expertise in, [2], a description of the organization, and most importantly...

One closet-friendly person you can contact either via phone or email to help you find the best person in that organization to handle your issue, anonymously, quickly, and quietly [3].

In this case, we're looking at the emergency sexual assault organization and educational organization RAINN. At RAINN, we've found Jodi Omear, who is a high ranking member of the organization.

You can use a private and separate email account to message her directly, or call the RAINN hotline (800-656-HOPE [4673]) about potential sexual assault issues, legal paths to getting out of the situation, and what to do if you're in a domestic violence situation right this moment.

My job is to make these cards easier for you to use, but a simple 3 step, 10-second process can get you the resources you need right now and with every partner organization we add to the database, we hope you'll find this database the most useful it can be.

If you know an organization that isn't on the list feel free to shoot them a link to ourPartner page here, and keep a look out for our next database indestructible: how to use the relevant to features!

About the Author: Ricki Palmisano

Ricki is our lead Database Coordinator for RESCQU.NET. Working with a team of other volunteers, she vets and establishes partnerships with organizations to ensure closet-friendly resources are in the database, updated, and have a singular contact who can field your needs at that organization. In her off-time she loves tea, studies copyright law, pets, and being an absolutely amazing friend.

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Why You May Not Vote, and How You Can Change That

10/23/2018

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Hi, there!

I'm Erin, the Weekly Digest - and if you choose to volunteer - Volunteer Coordinator here at RESCQU.NET!

In lieu of a regular blog post this week, I feel like it’s important we discuss something that is happening at the beginning of next month: voting.

These days, everyone is talking about voting as "why you should vote." The language of “motivation” going around seems to assume that people don’t vote because they're lazy or they don’t care.

What about those of us who find voting extremely difficult for other reasons?

I have anxiety. Really bad anxiety. Especially in highly charged crowds.

So, the polls seem VERY scary to me.

It’s so much more than just getting off of the couch and waiting in line to me. The idea alone nauseates me and makes my muscles twitch.

There are millions of other reasons one may not be willing or able to vote from anxiety to active voter suppression. If you’re closeted or have any reason whatsoever that you are afraid or hesitant to vote, we want you to know that that feeling is valid, but workarounds have to be found.

But I am lucky enough to live in a state that allows me to mail in my ballot every year. Not everyone has that resource, and if they do, they're often not aware it exists.

This blog provides you the resources needed to work around your hurdles & cast that vote!

How to vote in Every State, and Whether You Can Mail it in!

This below state voting database includes 3 pieces of information for each state:

The link to the state's voting page to receive information for and register to vote!
Can you vote by mail?
Can you vote online?

I sincerely hope that the chart above offers you some voting assistance, but if you need more, we've also embedded a very helpful channel from the VlogBrothers and DFTBA about how to vote in each state. You'll need to go to the youtube channel to find your state.

If you're in a state that does not allow for mail-in or online voting, you will have to report to your designated location. While that is a significant hurdle though, we have a few more options for you as well.

Go to this channel and find your state!

Do you Work on Voting Day?

Though I'd mentioned anxiety as a hurdle of mine, it's certainly not the only or most prominent hurdle.

Many people work on election day and cannot take time off due to financial restraints.

If this applies to you, you can visit Vote411.org and enter your address to see if your employer is legally required to give you paid time off to vote on election day. Every area varies a little in their terms, so make sure that you're looking at the correct precinct that you’ll be voting in!

How to Fight Voter Suppression

Last, and the certainly scariest of the hurdles, is the blatant voter suppression tactics that are running amok all over the country.

I'm not going to expand on all of them, simply because it is a hot topic right now and there are a lot of people who are saying it better than I can right now. For more information head over to this New York Times article that discusses themost recent tactics in the "age of Trump".

Knowing about these tactics is vital to getting your vote cast, but if you find yourself oppressed, you find people telling you your vote doesn't matter, or you are physically barred from voting, here's the number 1 thing you can get that will fight this:

Know How Your State Provides Voting Information

Every state is required to inform the federal government how they plan to educate their citizens on the issues most prominently displayed during the voting process.

Some of them are easy, like Colorado which provides a "bluebook" or voter information ballot mailed to every home and provided online.

Other states put it in harder to reach spots, but they can ALL be found on the federal registry.

Go to to this link at the state legislator's site.
Scroll down to your state and check the section it's in.
and it tells you where the state must have the information.
then search google for "[state] [voter information source]"
and it will be within the first 5 links!

Know What's on Your Ballot, Well Before You Vote

We're also going to leave one last tool for your toolbox to make sure you can get around any hurdle you have to voting. The internet.

More spectifically, the internet has deemed your vote important, so they've created a wikipedia specifically for your local, state, and federal elections over at Ballotpedia.org.

This site has literally everything you need ot know about the candidates, policies and more. all you have to do is navigate to the local page you're interested in, hit search, and read!

https://ballotpedia.org/Main_Page

About Erin Tschudi

Erin is the volunteer with the largest tenure here at RESCQU.NET because it allows her to keep connected with the LGBT+ community. As a bi woman who is soon to be getting married to her future husband she feels deeply for the community and wants to keep that connection. So she works to train our volunteers, welcome our new community members, and keep the wheels turning.

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How many conversations does it take to convince people you’re bisexual?

9/15/2018

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4.1% of the US population (minimum) consider
the following questions every day:

When did you know that you're [insert gender here]?
When did you know that you liked [insert gender(s)
you're attracted to]?

If you feel you may be one of those 4.1% I want you to know, up front, I am here for you. This blog is intended to provide you
support, friendship, and the resources you need. You’re not alone.

For the other 95.9% of the population, I’d like to ask:

Have you ever considered having to defend your
sexual preferences before now?
How much thought did you really have to put into it?
Have you ever had to carefully word your answers in fear
of someone responding negatively to them?

“When did you come out?”
...is a frustrating question for a lot of people, including myself and contrary to popular belief, it doesn’t just happen once. As a bisexual woman engaged to a man, this question is never-ending. I usually answer via memorized script:

“I guess I technically came out in the eighth grade to my best friends, I came out in the ninth grade to all non-family, and to my parents my junior year of high school, when I got my first serious girlfriend."

After being “out” for eight years, this is still the best response that I plan to come up with.

I am exhausted from having to think about it so much. It’s like being in one class and having a teacher call on you ten times in a row to answer the same question. Then the teacher is disturbed by your anger the tenth time around when you snap.

I am comfortable with my sexuality, but you need to be comfortable believing that.
Everyone else seems to need more information before I am allowed to call myself “bisexual.” I’m in a relationship with a woman? Clearly, I’ve just chosen a side. I’m in a relationship with a man? Welp, I’m clearly not LGBTQ anymore.

I am not a book to be analyzed or a film to be critiqued, yet everyone seems to have their own opinion based on my actions, rather than just believing how I feel.

This constant parade of questions is mentally exhausting, and emotionally deteriorating.

Blogger McKenna Ferguson explains the effects of this constant doubt best in her piece, “If You’re Going to Mislabel My Bisexuality, Just Don’t Call Me Straight.” She goes through, in excrutiating detail, her problems gaining access to LGBTQ spaces because of being mislabeled.

So, to be clear: I am the B in LGBTQ+, and I need these spaces, too.

It is embarrassing and disheartening to go to a support group and have to defend my right to be there. It’s a place I go for safety and comfort, but it’s almost worse than explaining my sexuality to straight people because there is this sense that I’m trying to invade and even steal away people’s “safe space.”

This problem tends to arise because of people’s understanding (or lack thereof) of bisexuality.
You see, there’s this new phrase floating around: “practicing bisexual.”

It was probably made most famous in an interview between Larry King and Anna Paquin. [the bisexuality comment happens around -11 min]. If you’d rather not watch the clip, here’s the short version:

King insists that Paquin cannot be a practicing bisexual because she’s married. She is clearly uncomfortable with this definition and sticks to her guns that she can be married and bisexual. I am totally with her.I would say that I am a “practicing bisexual” because I am actively alive and bisexual.

I’m not saying that Larry King invented this idea that bisexuals are irrelevant once they're in a monogamous relationship, but he did give it a word and made it more real for people who already were in that mindset. So now, we as bisexual people, have to deal with it.

All of this has added up to one ongoing hurdle bi/pan people deal with: the “out” questions.

To a lot of people, after answering the questions, I am too straight to be gay and too gay to be straight or confused or lying for attention. I am certain that I am not alone in this hurdle.

So if you’re...
questioning your sexuality, if you experience bi-erasure, feel you have no support because people think you don’t belong in the community, or you or someone you know has struggled with this, I have a resource for you:

Consider joining the online support group: Bittersweet. We started it specifically to solve this problem. I sooo wish I had this group when I was discovering my identity and I’m glad you have it now.

You can sign up here. The next meeting is LITERALLY TONIGHT! I'll likely see you there <3

About Erin Tschudi

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Why I Started Bitter/Sweet & How Our First Group Went

9/10/2018

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Hello, my name is Lane....

And despite my constantly busy life, I've never stopped trying to find ways to give a little bit more of my time to under-privileged communities.

I’ve worked as a counselor for troubled youth, I’ve participated in local LGBTQ+ support groups, and in college I ran a queer identified women's' support group called QWEEN (it's still running actually).

And as a married bisexual woman I've experienced more bi-erasure than I could wish on anyone - from both straight and queer communities. Even during my time running QWEEN at college, I can recall more than one instance of being questioned for allowing bi/pan individuals as regular members.

Much of why I feel tension exists within the community about bisexuality is because we do honestly have the privilege of living under the radar. At the time same time, however, that means our identity is usually not acknowledged or given a safe space to exist. It’s a Bitter / Sweet experience.

So about a month ago, Samantha, RESCQU NET's Executive Director, contacted me about a new support group program we're now officially launching next week (18th)!

Based on my previous support group experience, facilitating seemed like a role I could easily step into and a great opportunity to help support the community. I was happy to join the newly formed team.

During our initial talks, we tried to narrow down what direction this group would take and the one that stood out to me personally was leading a group for bisexual individuals who feel their identity is more often than not swept under the rug.

With this group, Bitter / Sweet, I can support Bi and queer people like me, and help the straight individuals in their lives who don’t understand.

As a married bisexual woman I've experienced more Bi-erasure than I could wish on anyone - from both straight and queer communities. ~ Lane Ramsay

As the day of the first meeting grew nearer, my anxiety was building up. I wanted to make sure that this group was successful and that those who reached out would feel secure and safe coming back to each meeting. The hour before the group I was pacing across my living room. My husband had to calm me down and force me to take a few deep breaths.

The group officially began and after some nervous introductions, we jumped right into members detailing stories about their experiences.

There was point about halfway through the meeting when things started to flow more naturally and members felt more comfortable with one another. Questions were asked, advice was given, and thoughts and personal experiences were shared between the group members.

Each person seemed more than willing to open up and I started to see the members form bonds out of their shared experiences. I felt relieved, and happy to see the potential of Bitter / Sweet.

So, can you do us a quick favor?
In an effort to make sure Bitter / Sweet continues we are doing all we can to reach out to the larger community. We need your help to spread the word to those who could also benefit from this space.

The resources shared between members will benefit each person who attends and serve as a reminder that they are not alone, they do exist, and they need resources just like everyone else.

Help us out by Sharing this article, and if you believe in this group like I do, donate $10 dollars to fund our next group!

How to keep your identity hidden online

Why the web is built to out you

Author: Lane Ramsay

Lane is the Facilitator of the newly formed Bisexual / Pansexual group Bitter / Sweet. She's spent most of her life counseling troubled youth and the LGBT+ community. She's recently married her husband and experiences the same Bi-erasure she is counseling for with us now. Join her group!

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Please, Make Cultural Change Happen | The Pulse, Orlando Shooting

6/13/2016

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We want to respond to this shooting, but we want to make sure that education, enlightenment, and greater conversations happen in the midst of this terrible tragedy. This is a cultural issue, and no one solution will help. We need to see this as inter-sectional and recognize what really feeds into this terrible violence so we can begin to work to fix it.

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Good Stories are Powerful Lifelines.

What We Plan to do This Year, and Why Funding it is Vital

Goal #1: Strengthen our Resource Database

Goal #2: More Consistent Support Group Attendance

Goal #3: Announcing our Whisper Community!

How to Find The Queer Resource You Need Now in 10 Seconds

Part 1: The Easy Part - Searching

Part 2: What to Do When You Don't Know What You Need

Part 3: What to Do with the Resource When You Have it

About the Author: Ricki Palmisano

Why You May Not Vote, and How You Can Change That

How to vote in Every State, and Whether You Can Mail it in!

Do you Work on Voting Day?

How to Fight Voter Suppression

Know How Your State Provides Voting Information

Know What's on Your Ballot, Well Before You Vote

About Erin Tschudi

How many conversations does it take to convince people you’re bisexual?

This constant parade of questions is mentally exhausting, and emotionally deteriorating.

About Erin Tschudi

Why I Started Bitter/Sweet & How Our First Group Went

Author: Lane Ramsay

Please, Make Cultural Change Happen | The Pulse, Orlando Shooting

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