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Good Stories are Powerful Lifelines.

Let’s Celebrate Transgender Day of Visibility: Here’s How to do so Safely

3/20/2019

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Trans pride flagOfficial trans pride flag
​It’s Ricki here! Transgender Day of Visibility is a powerful day for the trans community to be seen and heard. If you’re anything like me, you’ll be looking for ways to celebrate in Colorado. Well, one event I can point you to is a movie screening in Denver. 

Just as importantly, whether you are in Colorado or not, we want to make sure that you stay safe while trying to find events. So I’ll also be going over ways to keep your online activities secure.
Honorable Mentions

Before diving into a TDOV event and internet safety, I want to take the time to honor some trans*, Colorado-based public speakers who have taken visibility as a career. 

Todd Garrity is a transgender public speaker who lectures on the importance of trans healthcare knowledge, mediates conferences and support groups, and has a trans-oriented acupuncture and meditation center called The Om Flow.  
​
Anunnaki Ray is a motivational speaker, blogger, artist, and activist. Assigned female at birth, they grew into their non-binary, male-presenting self and is the first person in Colorado have their biological sex changed to ‘intersex’ to properly reflect their natural body. 

Personal Stories also features trans* stories about both transitioning and visibility and is constantly updating their database. 

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CELEBRATE IN DENVER!

If you can go out to celebrate TDOV and find yourself in Denver, The Center on Colfax is hosting a screening of Becoming More Visible, which follows the lives of four people in various parts of their transition. The documentary dives into who they are beyond their transition and how they exist in the world around them. It addresses religious family issues, the shelter system, and developing a successful career as a visible trans person. 

This event is free with an online RSVP here. Otherwise, Becoming More Visible is available on Amazon Prime—a fun activity for people with their own Amazon Prime account. 
CELEBRATE WHILE STAYING SAFE ONLINE

Being safe on TDOV includes knowing when not to be visible. You know your situation better than anybody, but here are a few tips that you can use. 

If you are on a shared computer make sure you’re using an account that is only accessible to you on a secure browser type, like Brave, that won’t track your Amazon choices for advertising if you do choose to watch Becoming More Visible. 

Before I go into how useful this browser is in order to surf the gay, gay web I want to disclose that this is NOT a paid advertisement. This is a genuine push for a browser that is compatible with our mission statement and with programs we already endorse. 

Brave recently hit the market with an incredible amount of customizable security and privacy dependent on your needs—choose which kinds of cookies and device recognitions to get through to you and what doesn’t. Brave is built on not collecting personal data while also being as user-friendly as possible. It’s compatible with DuckDuckGo, a functional search engine that doesn’t collect personal data and we highly recommend through our resource database. 

Because of privacy risk to you, Brave automatically blocks plug-ins and upgrades encryptions. The browser is also available.  And it’s totally free. Surfing the web for visible trans* people shouldn’t put you in the digital spotlight—part of TDOV is being visible in order to acknowledge, protect, and fight for stealth and closeted individuals. 

Ricki Palmisano

Writer and volunteer for Rescqu. Manager of the resource database. So Goth that she sacked a Roman village on the way to work.

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Fine. We're Proud of You Zuck - Wary, but Proud

3/12/2019

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It's just a picture of Mark Zuckerberg.Zuckerberg emoting. Credit to NBC.
​We are VERY hard on facebook.  

And for good reason.  

This organization started because of the Facebook Real Names Policy in early 2013 and to this day we harp on Facebook’s refusal to protect LGBTQ+ people by providing alias names, securing data and information better, not catering to peoples’ privacy, and generally sucking at community anonymity when we ask them to.  

But something changed recently in Mark Zuckerberg’s little scrooge heart (possibly robotic?).

A week ago Zuckerberg published a near 3,200-word blog about a shift from public information social networks to private networks.  And that’s VERY good for all of you. 

In this blog, Zuckerberg admitted to the security problems with his platform and announced he will be pivoting to a security-based social platform that we feel holds a lot of promise for your safety, security, and anonymity on the web.

So in this blog, we’re going to go over his letter to let you know what may or may not be “troubling”.

A quick summary of his Blog

Now fortunately for you, there is no need to read all 3,200 hundred words of the CEO’s admission of guilt because it’s all pretty technical.  

Zuckerberg starts out by suggesting a few ideas about what the future of the internet will entail and we are VERY proud of him here.  He is championing from here on out:
  1. Private interactions between people without any “eyes” on your conversation,
  2. Encrypted Data so no “eyes” are watching the mail process in the first place,
  3. Temporary & Secure Data Storage so they’re not holding info longer than needed,
  4. Safety for everyone involved as they interact on the platform and,
  5. Platform Inter-operability that rolls these changes out to every platform they own.
As for why he has changed his views on the future of social media,
We’ve super-cut all the parts that are important to you in a way that makes sense*:
(also check the P.S for more below!)
“I believe a privacy-focused communications platform will become even more important than today's open platforms. Privacy gives people the freedom to be themselves and connect more naturally, which is why we build social networks. [...] But people should be comfortable being themselves, and should not have to worry about what they share coming back to hurt them later. ” [...] Now, with all the ways people also want to interact privately, there's also an opportunity to build a simpler platform that's focused on privacy first.

[...]  Frankly, we [Facebook] don’t currently have a strong reputation for building protective privacy services, and we've historically focused on tools for more open sharing. [...] There is also a growing concern among some that technology may be centralizing power in the hands of governments and companies like ours.

​[...] But in WhatsApp, for example, our team is obsessed with creating an intimate environment in every aspect of the product. [...] I believe we should be working towards a world where people can speak privately and live freely knowing that their information will only be seen by who they want to see it and won't all stick around forever.​"
 ~ Mark Zuckerberg; Wed. March 6th

​So can we trust him?

Picture: Read the full infographic at: http://onlineprivacydata.com/Read the full infographic at: http://onlineprivacydata.com/
​That sounds all well and good but how is he going to make the current Facebook Juggernaut of platforms (that run on modern marketing companies abusing customer metadata in surveillance marketing) into a safe privacy first, encrypted network that we feel safe using?  

Right now, according to the Online Data Privacy survey, a whopping 83% of Americans believe that too much of their personal information is being made public without their consent and virtually all of them are worried about that information being stolen or abused.  
​
So in my opinion...

It’s too soon to tell when these features will be rolled out, if they’ll be useful, and whether they are going to be made in your interest.  Plenty of politicians submit well-meaning population focused bills to Congress that turn into money-grubbing industry-focused laws and that’s no different for technology.  

So we suggest

​Take your safety security and anonymity into your own hands.  Follow our 5-steps to your anonymity and join our already implemented social communities on known safe platforms:
Picture: 5 easy ways to stay safe on the internet Link: https://www.rescqu.net/blog/5-easy-steps-to-stay-safe-anonymous-on-the-internet
Protect yourself Online
Picture: sign up for our anonymous weekly digest!
Get our Anonymous Weekly Digest
Picture: Sign up for our Private Whisper Community!
Join our Whisper Group
Picture: Samantha with Suzanne Dibble

Samantha V Logan

Samantha is the Executive Director of RESCQU.NET as well as a full-stack digital marketer.  She struggles with both of these roles as her primary job asks her to collect  as much information as the internet will allow, while she also actively fights that surveillance marketing for you here at RESCQU.NET.  

Samantha's Bio
View my profile on LinkedIn

*​P.S: We C/P'd some interesting quotes from his blog below:


Read More
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Announcing This Year's Unsung Internet Hero Award  |  Shh, she has no idea!

3/6/2019

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Picture: Samantha V Logan with Suzanne Dibble at Traffic & Conversion Summit 2019Suzanne Dibble (left) and me (fangirling) at Traffic & Conversion Summit 2019 in San Diego.
For today’s blog, I want to introduce you to a person who has no idea they’ve made a massive impact on the closeted LGBTQ+ community.  

She is a very prominent lawyer who has worked for one of the richest men in the world.  She’s an online small business lawyer, and as far as I am aware, she has nothing to do with the queer community.

This woman’s name is Suzanne Dibble.  
​
​Before I can tell you about Suzanne, we need to go back to a specific event in LGBTQ+ history:  The Facebook Real Names Policy.

Some Back Story:

​See, way back in 2013 Facebook had been collecting all of our data on an epic scale. 

Everyone was. This was the same for Google, YouTube, Twitter, and every other website because your data was insanely useful for advertising.  It got so bad that a small little-known site called Ello.Co was started to change the way we view ads as a public.  

Then Facebook made a major mistake.  

To prevent fake accounts, and to ensure that their data always included “real” and “reliable” information on each person with an account (to sell ads more easily), Facebook took a step to ensure that no "fake names" could be used on the platform.

​To implement this policy, Facebook made an algorithm that decided what a name looked like, and made a new rule that stated you could report accounts that had “fake names” or names that were not attached to a real person.  Once flagged the algorithm would either shut down the account, throw the doors wide open on its privacy, or worse - ask for legal documents to prove the name.  
Picture
The real names policy effectively crowd-sourced account deletion to the masses, and the masses then unfairly targeted people with “odd” (ethnic) names and LGBTQ+ people who they just simply didn’t like. 

Needless to say, it It affected minorities heavily.  

​Entire swathes of the LGBTQ+ community were dead-named, accounts trans people were previously using as other identities were deleted, people ended up homeless, and Trans Lifeline, The Trevor Project, and other emergency LGBTQ+ organizations reported record suicide calls. 
"The masses unfairly targeted people with “odd” names and LGBTQ+ people who they just simply didn’t like.  It affected minorities heavily. "
Entire families and lives were ruined because Facebook wanted to stalk more accurately.

This Policy created 2 things:

First: 
It created a mass exodus of LGBTQ+ people from Facebook's platform and they flocked to "anti-social networks" like Whisper and the previously aforementioned Ello.Co. 
(We have communities on both BTW!)
Join our Whisper group!
And Second: 
It created a massive rift of trust between Facebook’s use of data, their moral integrity, and whether its public could trust them which ultimately lead to the Cambridge Analytica Scandal and scrutiny for all other platforms.
Follow us on Ello!
​Fast forward several years and we can see that a vast majority of the distrust against Facebook and literally every other data-mining business including Google and YouTube largely began in these early years of social media between 2010-2014. 

Today we live in a world where it's legal for any company to pigeonhole users into disclosing every aspect of themselves for "marketing based on surveillance" which we call "analytics".  

These are marketing tactics based on stalking every user every second of their life.  I discussed how this works in my previous blog, "Why the Web is Built to Out You, and How You can Avoid it."

Enter Suzanne Dibble...

Picture: Suzanne actively teaches businesses the danger of surveillance marketing.Suzanne actively teaches businesses the danger of surveillance marketing.
​Since the Facebook real names policy and Cambridge Analytica scandals, the small businesses and the marketing industry as a whole has been in the spotlight for abusing surveillance marketing tactics.
​
And in this world Suzanne Dibble has made her career navigating small businesses ethically and properly through this gigantic mess of big data farming for marketing purposes.  

When a broad-sweeping set of regulations and laws called the General Data Protection Regulation or GDPR passed in the European Union in 2017, marketing companies FLIPPED. 

GDPR severely restricts how the internet uses your user data.  This is the reason every company HAS to inform you cookies are a thing and why. If you don't know what cookies are we made a blog here.
PictureHere's your Trophy! wait....Well, we'll make one when we have money!
But Suzanne went a step further. 

Suzanne made a businesses that not only allowed businesses to navigate GDPR, but she discussed the future of data protection and the END OF SURVEILLANCE MARKETING!!!

For her, this era of mass data abuse will end.  There is no stopping it. Instead of waiting for hard-fought laws to change businesses, she's making businesses change culturally BEFORE the laws even change at all! 

Every client who takes her advice, will naturally, without knowing it, become a little more closet-friendly. 

And for that, Suzanne Dibble, Lawyer extraordinaire, is helping to end a dangerous era for LGBTQ+ people, People of Color, and virtually every other net-citizen.  

So I would like to nominate right now,  Suzanne Dibble for the just now invented, totally should be real, “RESCQU.NET Unsung Internet Improvement Hero Award".
​
From the bottom of my heart, thank you.  It was amazing to meet you. And I hope you read this.  Keep doing your work in amazing and fantastic ways.  

​~ Samantha
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Samantha V Logan

Samantha is a full-stack marketer and the Executive Director of RESCQU.NET.  Her experiences in marketing allow her to keep closeted and stealth LGBTQ+ people safe by working to combat the more nefarious aspects of marketing in her communities and on RESCQU.NET's site.
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Pronouns and You: Clearing up Confusion so You Can be More Inclusive and Less Awkward

2/27/2019

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Picture of pronouns.Commonly used pronouns
Hi there! My name is Erin and my preferred pronouns are she/her/hers or they/them/theirs. Does this sound familiar? Maybe you’ve heard it in passing and it’s made you question how much it mattered. Couldn’t you have guessed based on my picture and bio? Well, I’m a lucky person in that yes, you probably could have guessed based on my appearance. Yet there are many people out there that this isn’t true for.

I wrote this blog as an introduction to pronouns for those who are unfamiliar or uncomfortable navigating them.
Sex vs. Gender

Before we dive in, I do want to touch on the subject of sex vs. gender.

“Sex” refers to a person’s biological makeup. This includes body parts, chromosomes, and hormones. “

Gender” refers to how a person presents themselves. This includes many things like clothes, hairstyle, makeup, and mannerisms.

This is the most simplistic explanation of the two. If you want a more detailed explanation, read this article from Planned Parenthood.
Gender Unicorn chartGender Unicorn. Credit to TSER.
Gender Identity and Expression

To understand pronouns, it is important to understand gender identity and gender expression.

A person’s gender identity is how they feel in relation to the world. For example: I identify as a woman, so my pronouns are she/her/hers and I also feel comfortable with they/them/theirs.

I express myself in a feminine manner - I wear makeup, have long hair, and shop in the women’s section for my clothes.

This is part of what makes me lucky; my assigned sex, gender identity, and gender expression all line up in a way that is socially agreed upon and therefore, you can probably guess my pronouns by looking at me.
Some Pronouns to Know

There are a plethora of pronouns that people use today, but I will go over the most common ones below:
  • She/her/hers - woman
  • ​He/him/his - man
  • They/them/theirs - nonbinary/agender/gender fluid
  • Ze/hir/hirs - nonbinary/agender/gender fluid

These are the pronouns that I hear the most in my life, but the list goes on and on. For more, see this article.
Pronouns in Practice

Now, it’s great that you understand these terms in theory. But, how do you apply them in real life? You can no longer just look at someone and know how to describe them. How do you figure out what their pronouns are?

A general rule of thumb to use is this:

Do you interact with this person enough that knowing their specific pronouns is relevant? You don’t need to ask a random person you bumped into on the bus about their pronouns.

However, a new friend that you see on the bus every day might appreciate that you care. If you feel uncomfortable asking, try starting with your pronouns and going from there. If it is just way too uncomfortable at the start to ask what a person’s pronouns are, try using neutral pronouns for the short term.
Conclusion
Mistakes are not the end of relationships. This is important because everybody makes mistakes. 
The important thing is that you quickly correct yourself and move on. Do not dwell on that one word until everyone gets uncomfortable. Work to be better in the future and all will be forgiven.

This was an introduction to pronouns, but if you want to discuss this further, please check out RESCQU NET’s “I have ?’s” group!

Erin Dawn

Writer and Volunteer for Rescqu.net. Rises in the east

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Op-Ed: This  West Virginian Lawmaker plainly implied he would commit a hate crime if his children were gay. HOW?!?

2/20/2019

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Eric Porterfield is a name that many of you have probably heard by now.

He’s the Republican lawmaker who recently made headlines with his commentary on the LGBTQ+ community being a “modern-day version of the Ku Klux Klan.” 

Given President's day yesterday was celebrating a rather horrifying symbol for most minorities, I'd like to take the time to discuss this "lawmaker's" comments in depth. 

I've linked the section on LGBTQ+ identities here, and the full interview is provided below.

Prepare to throw your device out the window...
TW warning: Implied LGBTQ+ hate violence

Angry Yet?

This made my stomach drop. 

His outward hatred of gays and lesbians is also accompanied with the symbol of trumps presidency crowned upon his head. 

His comments are an active reminder of how many other people share his dangerous beliefs.  This hatred is becoming common. There is a growing group of individuals who have been emboldened by the current administration to encourage hatred and violence towards minority groups.
Picture: Eric Porterfield comments to the WVVA reporter that he would drown his kids if he discovered they were gay. link: https://wvva.com/news/top-stories/2019/02/10/delegate-porterfield-stands-by-his-statements-regarding-the-lgbtq-community/
Porterfield even went as far as to imply that he would drown his own children should they come out as gay or lesbian and did so with a grin on his face (pictured right). ​​​

It's particularly troubling though that so many of them, Eric Porterfield included, think of themselves as victims rather than recognizing their accountability in the oppression of others.

They see the movements towards equal rights as taking away from their piece of the pie, instead of seeing the reality of people simply trying to improve their quality of life and come out from under the fear and discrimination they have faced.
It’s absurd for those who have been on the receiving end of discrimination for our identities to hear from those in positions of privilege that our fight for equality is somehow threatening. 
Porterfield's extremist supporters are harmful to the progress of our community because they attempt to silence and devalue our struggles. 

Porterfield has since been asked to resign, but is showing of no signs of doing so.  He continues to stand by his statements.

We must keep in mind that he still has a strong backing in the very conservative 27th district of West Virginia. 

So why would he feel the pressure to back down? His supporters feel safe vocalizing and acting upon their own dangerous philosophies and they no-doubt feel empowered by the lack of consequences they see him facing. 

So what can we do?

We can use this as fuel to empower ourselves too.

​It’s moments like these that we must work harder to bring each other up and realize how important our support is to one another. It’s easy to become discouraged, exhausted, and distant during times of strife, but at the end of the day we have to stand together if we have any hope of achieving our goals of a more equal and loving society.   ​
So, if you're out and able, or you're an ally, we strongly recommend you share this blog, and our resource database to others so they can have the tools they need to combat "parents" like Mr. Porterfield.  

If you are a child with a Porterfield parent - we're here for you. 
Share our Resources Page!
Picture: Eric Porterfield comments to the WVVA reporter that he would drown his kids if he discovered they were gay. link: https://wvva.com/news/top-stories/2019/02/10/delegate-porterfield-stands-by-his-statements-regarding-the-lgbtq-community/If you're curious for some horrible reason, the full interview is here
Picture

This Op-Ed was written by Lane Lunsford

Lane is our support group facilitator for the support group Bitter/Sweet.  She is also an advocate for bisexual people and a body piercer for her local tattoo shop.  She adores sloths, and her husband.
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The Importance of Inclusive Sex Ed

2/14/2019

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Comet heart shooting on rainbow.Credit to NYU local for the image.
Valentines Day!

It’s Valentine's Day and love is in the air, but it isn’t all chocolate and roses. Valentine’s Day can be a hard time for folks in the LGBTQ+ community. You’re sold a straight-focused idea of romance at every turn. For those of us whose love doesn’t read like a Hallmark card, these festivities can be a source of frustration and isolation.

For this blog, I’d like to discuss some resources you can use to practice intimacy in a safe and healthy way.
Love of all Kinds
Possibly the best quality of love is that, despite the media’s focus on heterosexuality, there are as many ways to express affection as there are people on Earth.
Everyone does relationships and intimacy differently, so let’s celebrate those differences by talking about sex ed!

No matter where you fall on the gender & sexuality spectrum, whether you’re kinky or not, monogamous or polyamorous, quality sexual education vital to any healthy relationship.
The State of Sex Ed

Some aspects of sexual health seem like common knowledge: birth control, informed consent, masturbation, and STI prevention. The truth is that knowledge you may take for granted is being suppressed in many public schools. 

A recent study from the Guttmacher Institute shows that, in the last 20 years, fewer teens are being given comprehensive sex ed. 

In 2013, at least 57% of adolescents in the U.S. didn’t receive any information about birth control before having sex for the first time, and abstinence-only sex ed is on the rise.

Resources for Teens & Young Adults

How can you be expected to make safe, healthy choices about your bodies and your relationships if you’re not being given the tools to understand them? If you plan on having sex, you may have to look outside your school or your parents for necessary information. Here are some resources you can use.
LOGO FOR SCARLETEENScarleteen Logo
Scarleteen

Scarleteen is an organization that’s been providing sexuality & relationship education for over 20 years. They are committed to diversity and queer inclusivity and offer a wide variety of educational services.
SEX ETC LOGOSex etc. logo
Sex, etc.

Sex, etc. is written by teens, for teens, with many queer-inclusive resources.
LOGO FOR PLANNED PARENTHOODPlanned Parenthood Logo
Planned Parenthood

Planned Parenthood is well-known, but still worth mentioning.This organization stands at the forefront of advocacy for accessible reproductive healthcare, education, and a variety of services that aren’t strictly medical in nature.
LOGO FOR ICYCICYC logo
ICYC

ICYC (In Case You’re Curious) is a text-based chat service that can give you quick, confidential answers to questions you may have about sexual health. Currently, ICYC serves Colorado, Wyoming, New Mexico, and Nevada.

Adult-Focused Resources

Even if you got better than average sex ed in school, it more than likely neglected issues particular to the LGBT+ community. For adult audiences, there are still resources that dig deeper into topics such as disability and sexual health, kink, polyamory, and more.
LOGO FOR QUEER SEX EDQueer sex ed logo
Queer Sex Ed

Queer sex ed is devoted to exploring healthy, fun sex outside the box, including explorations into the broad range of forms desire can take, consensual kink, and navigating asexuality/aromanticism in relationships.
MORE THAN TWO'S FOUNDER'S BOOK COVERCover of Veaux's book, "More than two"
More Than Two

Franklin Veaux’s More Than Two discusses all the ins and outs of polyamory, and how to ensure the needs and desires of every participant are being addressed.

And for people of all ages. RESCQU.NET!

Picture
And For People of All Ages, RESCQU!

Want more on queer sex ed? RESCQU.NET is building a database of LGBTQ+ and queer-friendly organizations, including many of those referenced in this article (and more!)

​Queer Sex Ed’s slogan is: pleasure is a basic human right. Whatever pleasure looks like to you, arm yourself with the resources to indulge your passions to the fullest! Stay safe, stay sexy, and happy Valentine’s Day. ❤

Charlie Quinn

Writer/volunteer for Rescqu. Basically Cupid if Cupid cared about healthy relationships.
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The Difference Between Bisexuality and Pansexuality

1/30/2019

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There are many different subcategories when it comes to sexual identity.  But when you don't clearly fit into a "definitive" box, properly understanding yourself and being understood by others is difficult.  

Bisexual and Pansexual people are especially affected by this and it can be alienating.

So, my name is Lane Lunsford, and for this blog, I’d like to take a crack at outlining the difference between bisexual and pansexuality clear, but I'd also like to focus on the similar feelings of alienation and loneliness you can share. And why the support group I run here on RESCQU.NET, Bitter/Sweet aims to support people of all sexual identities equally, while still celebrating their subtle differences.
​
Learn a little more about me and Bitter/Sweet!
Or click to see really cute sloths.  That's also a good reason :)

So, what's the difference between Bi and Pan?

First, let’s get our terms straight. It can be a little confusing since these terms are often used interchangeably and there can be overlap between the two identities. We are working with a spectrum here, so this is less about drawing hard distinctions and more about trying to point out, generally, where these identities don’t overlap.
A picture of the bisexual pride flag.Bisexual pride flag.
Bisexuality

Bisexuality is the romantic and/or sexual attraction to both female and male people. It's usually situated smack-dab in the middle of the spectrum, but many people have preferences.

Some people express their attraction as an active awareness for the traits they prefer in either a person's sex or gender, while others express it as a passive lack of preference for either.  The one thing in common, is that bi people can at least hazily define who the are attracted to by a gender or sex.
A picture of the pansexual pride flag.Pansexual pride flag.
Pansexuality
Pansexuality is the romantic and/or sexual attraction to anybody of any sexuality or gender. It is, sometimes, seen as encompassing a wider range of attraction than bisexuality, but this is arguable.

Where bisexuality refers to attraction to both men and women and makes an attempt to delineate preferences, pansexuality is almost a "lack of".  It includes genderqueer, agender, and transgender individuals almost by default. Pansexuality rarely acknowledges the gender binary and for some people that means gender doesn't factor in at all when they see that someone walk in to a room.

I should stress...

I am speaking in the most general way possible when defining these terms. If you identify with one of these sexualities, but don’t feel like parts of the definition apply, don’t worry. These labels are merely concepts used to help people better express themselves and find solidarity in common experience. 

​If the terms limit rather than empower you, to the flames they go.

Stepping away from the differences...

Despite the differences in these identities, the struggles people face are often similar. 

Common Problems
Both Bi and Pan folx are often commanded to “pick a side”; to express a uniform sexual preference. They are also erased in the media, in politics, and sadly, even in some parts of the LGBTQ+ community.
Picking a person to date or live with is paramount to picking that side regardless of what they wanted, and people can often view that behavior as "traitorous", or "growing out of it" depending on the side you're on and who that bi person has agreed to be with. 
​
The tension usually exists because bi and pan individuals can enter into relationships that let them appear completely straight or gay.  This helps them go stealth in the hetero-normative and gay communities, but that also means dealing with a constant erasure and stereotyping of their identity.
Picture of cakeBitter/Sweet cake
Bitter/Sweet  

This is where Bitter/Sweet comes in.

The name Bitter/Sweet refers to this tension between being able to pass as heterosexual while still dealing with the stress and sadness that comes with being bi or pan. I wanted to facilitate a group that could help anyone within the bisexual+ and pansexual community feel a sense of togetherness and that their identities were valid.

The bi+ community faces unique challenges that can sometimes be overlooked in the larger LGBT+ world. Bitter/Sweet aims to welcome all of those individuals that may be afraid to speak up in other support settings because they have been told their worries and concerns were not as important.

We are here to tell you that your experiences are real and shouldn’t be dismissed. This is a safe community where you will be welcomed to discuss your struggles and find friends who support you. We hope you’ll join us!

If you'd like to sign up and join us at Bitter/Sweet please click here to learn more. 
Bitter/Sweet: Bi/Pan Support Group

Author

Lane Lunsford is the Support group facilitator and a writer for RESCQU.NET.  She also likes sloths, warm stuffed animals, tattoos, and lending help to others.  

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Martin Luther King Jr's Ideology and the Queer Community

1/23/2019

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Over Martin Luther King Jr. day, the LGBT+ community got to "celebrate" by hearing the news that transgender military members would not be protected from President Trump’s trans military ban.

The timing of this violation rather struck us on a day that celebrates diversity and civil rights.

So let’s talk about that...

Engage in the conversation with us on this post if you like!

Peaceful Protest and Inter-sectional Activism

Martin Luther King Jr. was known for his staunch belief in peaceful protest; non-violent actions and demonstrations in order to incite change and awareness.  And his arguments were often inter-sectional.  His message burned brightly and inspired LGBTQ+ activists from that point forward.

While not every activist in the 1960’s was friendly to black people, many black and white voices united for LGBTQ rights.

Before Stonewall was the BCSL protest (Black Cat Demonstration in Silver Lake).

At the time of Stonewall, kissing a same-sex person in public warranted a sexual offense in California. Activists gathered to respond to an unjust police raid on New Year’s Day where many people were arrested for kissing their partners. 
Want to learn more about queer history and vocabulary? Visit...
Picture: Transwhat? A guide towards allyship Link: http://transwhat.org/
An educational glossary of popular and new LGBT+ terms.
Picture: GLSEN Link: https://www.glsen.org/
An education organization for educating you on LGBTQ+ history, current events, and more.
And find more resources, just like this in our Resource Database! 

King's influence in future LGBTQ movements

Picture: The NTTCN staff at work. Link: https://www.nqttcn.com/The NTTCN staff at work!
​While the Stonewall riots are only loosely connected to King in concept, it warrants discussion
when LGBTQ and black rights are on the table. Black queer people have been contributing to King’s dream of equality since day one.

Although Stonewall was not a peaceful protest, it helped build a foundation for all people to be safe regardless of color, gender or sexuality.  It started with a black trans woman's shoe.

In 1969, Marsha P Johnson and Sylvia Rivera, among many others, were victims to a string of
wrongful raids in gay bars and other safe spaces.

Johnson, a black trans*woman, is most often credited with being the first to resist the police violence that night, which included exposing people’s genitals and groping lesbians.

​After the riot Johnson and Rivera founded STAR, which helped young, homeless transgender people—with a focus on black youth—get off the street.

TheTrans Therapists of Color Network carries on STARs work and specializes in inter-sectional therapy to ensure black and other under-served communities get the mental healthcare they deserve. You can find them on our resource database.

King's Spirituality and Religious LGBTQ people

​King believed in community and non-violence to the point of being arrested and jailed several times at demonstrations where he wrote the famous Birmingham Letter.

His spirituality influenced his identity greatly as an activist. The second Selma march was punctuated by King stopping when met with state troopers to kneel and pray.  He is quoted as saying “the holy spirit revives my soul again”.

Many LGBTQ people struggle with reconciling their faith and sexuality or don’t know where to start if they come to realize they are a spiritual person.

The Unitarian Universalist Organization, a national spiritual community who championed MLK's work in civil rights as part of their doctrine, also strongly LGBTQ activism and provide a safe place for any person struggling with housing, religious conflict, or finding community.
I'd like to end this by saying we've mentioned a lot of resources and I'd be remiss as the resource database coordinator if I didn't say you can find ALL of these resources on our database here.

About the Author: Ricki Palmisano

Ricki is the Database coordinator for RESCQU.NET. She vets and establishes partnerships with organizations to ensure closet-friendly resources are in the database.
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Let's talk about mental health in the  LGBTQ+ Community

1/16/2019

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PictureTwo people excitedly fight for healthcare in America.Two people excitedly fight for healthcare in America.
In Capitalist Realism, the social critic Mark Fisher said the focus on discussing mental health in purely biochemical terms works hand-in-hand with its depoliticization.

Most people who experience mental health problems will find the  discussion of mental health in purely biochemical terms familiar, and it can be helpful in de-stigmatizing mental health; “I’m not choosing to be depressed, the chemicals in my brain make me depressed.”

But, I have an issue with this that I’d like to talk about in this blog:
Only talking about mental health in medical terms can be harmful to the LGBTQ+ community.
Social and political conversations get closed off when we speak about mental health biologically because the “problem” becomes isolated to the individual’s brain chemistry.  And in the process, we ignore the social and political realities those conditions are a part of. 

​Mental Illness in the Queer Community

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI);
  • ​Members of the LGBTQ+ community are 3 times more likely to experience mental health issues, such as depression and generalized anxiety disorder than straight people.

  • LGBTQ+  youth are 3 times more likely to commit suicide and engage in self-harm. Somewhere between 38%-65% of trans individuals experience suicidal ideation.

  • Between 20-30% of the LGBTQ+ community abuse hard drugs, compared 9% of the general population. 25% of the LGBTQ+ community abuses alcohol, - double the general public’s 5-10%.

​Members of the LGBTQ+ community also experience “minority stress.”

Minority stress is a kind of constant anxiety that minorities feel due to constant awareness of their actions. Are they drawing too much attention to themselves? Are they representing their community? Do they have reliable social support?

Are they in danger?

Constant minority stress (obviously) leads to worse mental health issues.

Progress has been made to reduce minority stress, but constant diagnosis’ of the LGBT+ community ignores the nature of LGBT+ people’s environmental stresses.  In other words, the discussion of mental health as a biological issue has built a stigma that has been used in turn, as a tactic by LGBTQ+ rights opponents to remove power from our identities.
Banner for the Fund The Database Campaign from RESCQU.net

Politics and Mental Health

So we’ve been talking pretty up-in-the-air here, but let’s get real:

 The diagnosis and treatment of mental health issues carry undeniable political impact for the minority people who are diagnosed.

While being diagnosed on its own is overall an empowering thing for an individual, there is a power-exchange between the prescribing doctor and the patient, in the diagnosis.

It is fundamentally a political act to determine whether certain behaviors are acceptable or in the bounds of illness and whether people should be allowed to live freely given that condition.

To declare someone “mad” is to remove agency from their life. Leveraging mental health diagnosis’ has been a longstanding tactic of maintaining the status quo, and the strategy has become more potent with the medicalization of mental health in the early 20th century.

Feminists and civil rights activists have been famously institutionalized for their political activity, but in the case of the LGBTQ+ community, the focus has been on declaring someone to have a mental disorder— not for acting a certain way, but for being a certain way.

For a long time, having a “gender dysphoria” diagnosis preemptively closed off the possibility of political action because it was a mental health condition.

Until 1973, being gay, lesbian, or bisexual was officially considered a mental illness. It was only in 2013 that the term gender dysphoria came to replace the term Gender Identity Disorder in the DSM, which was done to help align psychiatric practices with the aim of helping trans folk with their mental health rather than treating being trans in itself as a mental disorder.

Being queer was forcibly depoliticized which made it appear politically neutral.

2 examples
           
A current example of this forced neutralization can be seen in the conversation around transgender bathroom rights. Opponents of these rights often close trans folk out of the discussion entirely by attributing their trans status to a dangerous or contagious disorder or sexual deviancy.

We also see this issue in conversion therapy. While it’s not recognized as a legitimate psychiatric practice, the message inherent to conversion therapy is that “being gay needs to be fixed rather than understood as an identity.”

In each case, psychiatric practice is used to transform a social issue into an individual one and then as a clear “problem” to be solved with that person.

And because  LGBTQ+ youth are much more susceptible to this loss of power and identity the risk is magnified horrifically.

If this occurs, the political and social realities leading to widespread anxiety in young minorities would be closed off to the conversation. They would lose their voice and with it any hope of a political solution.

They would lose any platform for managing their own identities.

Politicizing LGBTQ+ Mental Health

When the prevalence of mental health issues for members of the LGBTQ+ community and the messy political history of psychiatry, are taken together it shows a clear need for a more forward political discussion.  

Now again, the biochemical discussion of mental health is useful for helping members of the LGBTQ+ community individually. We need a proper medical vocabulary to help diagnose what problems exist within one’s brain chemistry and prescribe treatments for the symptoms.

BUT

If the discussion ends there we are left with a system that atomizes mental health, closes off the possibility for political change doesn’t approach minority stress, and renders the LGBTQ+ community captives to pharmaceutical solutions.
Politicizing the constant anxiety and depression associated with being queer is a necessary step in queer liberation. These collective illnesses demand collective action.

Maintaining a purely scientific, biochemical discussion of mental health silences this collective action. We must treat medicalization as a political tool for reforming the social needs of marginalized communities instead of repressing them.

Dylan T. Clark

Writer and editor for Rescqu.net. Mostly sparkles.

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What We Plan to do This Year, and Why Funding it is Vital

1/3/2019

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Over the course of the past 6 years RESCQU.NET has been trying to get ourselves stable footing because it's hard to convince traditional LGBT+ funding organizations that closeted people can be catered to - let alone that it can greatly impact emergency organizations.

But this year is different. 

2018 marked a come-back.  We experienced an explosion in readers, viewers, and attention on the closeted, questioning, and stealth communities. Organizations have sought more connections this year than in the past two.  The quality of the organizations has also increased.

So in 2019 I'd like to take some time to put forward our plans for the 2019 year,
And it sums up with one word: STRENGTH.

Goal #1:  Strengthen our Resource Database

Partnering with other organizations is time consuming, arduous and takes a lot of volunteers.

After hiring our resource coordinators Ricki and Charlie we spent a long time discussing the program's future.

So our plan is just going to be to fill it to make it a better resource for all of you.

Then we'll be focusing on increasing the level of partnership interaction we have with these organizations using the closet-friendly program: a program that incentivizes organizations to change the way they interact with their audiences and make it more amenable for people who want to remain anonymous for any reason. 
Picture: What if 1000 dollars could connect 200 LGBT+ organizations with countless closeted people? #FundTheDatabase Link: https://www.rescqu.net/fundthedatabase
Why you should contribute to this goal: 
We don't collect much user data. But we do have a ticker that counts enters and exits.

So we know for a fact that we get between 150-200 hits on the database per day and each lasts between 3-6 minutes.  That means the database, in its current incomplete format is already providing one resource every 40 minutes on average.  

That's useful.  That's a LOT of people.

And if we can increase it's accuracy, it's reach, and it's support we could increase the rate at which resources are provided.

You can donate here to help us make this a reality:
Fund The Database

Goal #2: More Consistent Support Group Attendance

One of the most sought-after programs we had in prior years was the support group program. 

But it never happened until last year.  It took years to get the technology, leadership, and facilitators in place. 

So when we did get it into place we were a little taken aback at how little it was utilized.  

We know what we did wrong though.  Advertising and reducing the hurdles to attend are our number one and number two positions.  We have to be careful with these tasks moving forward, but we genuinely feel that these support groups can make for a powerful connection to community for a great amount of people.  

So we'd appreciate your help by spreading the word about our support groups. 
Bitter/Sweet Bi/Pan Group
I have ?s General Support Group
Why you should contribute to this goal: 
Support groups are often one of the best ways for people to get over the hurdles that stop them from doing things emotionally.  A nonprofit can reach out and provide as many resources as possible, but you can't make a horse drink.  

At a support group people can feel more comfortable, and become a part of a community that guides them more, without pressuring them.  They are places where you can "feel" your identity - not just express it.  

So the more support groups we have for questioning, closeted, and stealth people, the more high-quality support we can put into delivering our resources.  They can be an active community.  

And there is no way that isn't worth it. 

Goal #3:  Announcing our Whisper Community! 

If you've made it this far down this post, I just want to say thank you.  

It's clear that you care a lot about the impact that RESCQU.NET has made in your life.  And that is empowering to all of us.  

But what we wanted to provide more was a sense of ACTIVE community.  

Prior to 2017 our communities were a mailing list.  "interaction" happened through our youtube team on Trans Youth Channel, in emails, and private communications and you couldn't really call it empowering.  

But this year we are officially launching our upcoming Whisper community, and we'd like you to be a part of it!

It's currently up for you to join at this link, but we will officially launch it around the beginning of march :) 
Join our Whisper Community!
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